Tuesday, December 30, 2008

A website for you

I noticed that my blogging has been a little light lately. There are three reasons.

1) For some reason, my sarcasm seems to be on vacation. I can't remember the last time I had nothing to say. I actually do have something to blog about, I just want to be able to do it justice.

2) I've been sick and broken since November. As usual, there's a story behind it. As soon as I am officially over the "winter junk" that I deal with every year, I'll be telling you about the "Donna fell down/my non-drinking mom has cirrhosis/ Crack ho's (Yup, I said "ho" and it is accurate) have taken over my 91 year old Papa and how it culminated in the theft of my totally cute Coach purse, Coach wallet and Coach umbrella." It's a funny one. You'll like it.

3) I've been reading the blog known as "Stuff Christians Like." It is a total ripoff of the popular website, "Stuff White People Like." I have laughed and laughed. It is totally spot on. I suggest you go to http://stufffchristianslike.blogspot.com/ and start at the beginning which is January last year. I can't believe I didn't think of this one. Frank, you will find a kindred soul here. He can make fun of us because he is one of us. I'm up to June and my heart is healthier from all the laughing I've been doing. So until I'm back up to being my smarty-pants self, Jon Acuff will keep you company.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Why don't we care?

I was reading a blog (http://www.theprodigaljon.blogspot.com/) who has another blog I love (http://stufffchristianslike.blogspot.com/) and he had this video. It's Penn of Penn & Teller talking about a guy who gave him a Bible. His question made Jon pause and I thought I would share it here. Why aren't we sharing our faith?

Sunday, December 7, 2008

I have never seen the righteous forsaken nor their seed begging bread.

I hear a lot of talk about the economy lately. People seem scared. We were discussing this a bit in our Life Group this morning and I was reminded of our personal economic low. I thought I would share it here. This is a story I used to share often, but it's been a while. I am constantly astounded by how much my Savior loves little old me and has for me only good plans. When I say, "This is good, God," He says, "You haven't even entered the beginning of good yet. Hold on, THIS is going to be good."

So here is the story of Terry & Donna in 1995. This is going to be good. If you are worried, you aren't alone, but don't let that worry become crippling...keep following the Lord. He may take you somewhere new and cool.

In 1995 we were living in Albuquerque and Terry was an accountant. He was looking for a new job because being Terry Lawson in Albuquerque in 1995 was not a high paying job. In September, he was offered one of those "too good to be true" jobs. He would be the CFO for a small home health care company owned and operated by a Christian family. They would pay our moving expenses, find a place for us to live and there would be a big old raise. The only catch...it was in McAllen, Texas. Texas is good, I'm from Texas, but a border town...I wasn't sure. We prayed about it an felt it was the way to go, so in October, we went. Terry's dad helped us move and his new company found us a cute little house to rent. The rent was expensive, but we were rich now...right? The leasing agent was so kind and eager to please. They even let us pay our deposits out in installments because she was a friend of his boss. She made everything perfect for us, even brought us a housewarming gift, though we were only renters. Life was sweet. Ashley was 4 and Tyler was 18 months. Our needs were met with a little left over...not so much.

Terry was at the job only weeks when the bill collector calls started coming, not to us but to his office. It seems the sweet little company wasn't paying their bills. Payday rolled around and the paycheck bounced. (It might not have been the first paycheck, but it was one of the first.) We had to borrow money from my parents to pay the rent while the company got the money together for payroll. Until that day, I didn't even know that a paycheck could bounce. Several paychecks bounced and then they stopped coming all together. Terry was in a position of having to decide who to pay at the company when money did come in. He rightly paid those who were supporting a family on the no paycheck they got. Most of the workers were minimum wage workers with no other options. We had options, a little savings and generous family so we were the bottom of the pile. (Seeing his heart for those poor workers made me love him more.) As the weeks wore on and he came to understand the true scope of the financial issues, we realized we were in trouble. We were getting no income, yet he was working and we still had bills.

Add to this the fact that we were hated in McAllen. This was during the beginning of NAFTA and white people in McAllen were assumed to be working in Mexico taking a high paying job from a Mexican worker. As a matter of fact, that was true much of the time. Terry didn't work in Mexico, but no one would talk to me to know that. My neighbors would slam the door in my face and I couldn't get waited on in stores. Nobody wanted my dollars, only pesos. I have never been so lonely. I need an audience, as you know.

Christmas rolled around and we had no money. We sent the kid's Christmas list to my sister like we always do and she decided to buy our gifts for us, and we would pay her a bit at a time. This would become the year the "Santa Thief" saved Christmas. She went out and bought every single thing on the list! (I had included their birthdays in the list I sent, so I wouldn't have to send more than one list.) She bought Tyler's new "big boy" bed that was to be for his birthday. She even bought things we would never buy like an electric JEEP for the kiddos. She was worried and that's how she felt she could help. She payed and was told to pull around to the side to get her truck loaded up. While she waited, she realized she never got her credit card back, so she went back in to the store. The cashier was gone. The manager said he must be on a break and made her wait. Poor guy. He didn't know who he was dealing with. A phone call to the credit card company showed $500 in new electronic equipment had already been bought from the store next door, while she was waiting and the manager wouldn't call the police. Huge fit later, everything was free!! Also, the "Santa Thief" got to have a lovely Christmas meal down at County. (Don't mess with my sister, Buddy. You're lucky the police got to you first.) I always say that "God will use a donkey if donkey's what He's got." That guy was the donkey. (OK, don't write me, I know he wasn't used in a Ba lam's ass sort of way, but he was the donkey none the less.) God provided for us beyond what we even imagined! Now, not everyone in financial straits gets an electric Jeep, but it can happen.

Eventually Terry began having chest pains from the stress and we said, "Enough." No one is allowed to harm his health, so we made the decision he would have to quit. He had never left a job with no new job on the horizon. We were 3 months into a 6 month lease. We had never broken a lease, this seemed unforgivable. We were all alone in a strange land with no place to go and no way to go there. I called the leasing agent the day after Christmas and she told us to "GO." She actually apologized and told us no rent would be due for January and we were free to leave as soon as possible. She said that they were not in the business of holding people hostage in a lease that was harmful. She said it wouldn't be godly and her boss would not hold us. I didn't know what to say. Within the next 2 weeks they had mailed our entire deposit back to us (even the non-refundable part) and along with 401k money that came from Terry's accounting job in Abq, we were suddenly able to afford to live. We stayed with my parents while he looked for a job in Texas. How did that happen? (Someday, I might tell you the story of how we got the company in McAllen to pay all the wages they owed us, plus a tip. It's a good one if I do say so myself.) Terry eventually took a job in Dallas and we moved to Mesquite...right in the perfect time.

Here are just a few of God's blessings that we got to partake of because we were obedient:
1) While we were staying with my parents, my Daddy had a heart attack. Had I been still in Albuquerque, I wouldn't have been able to afford to get home to him. I'm the one who is the caretaker in my family and God knew he would need me. He placed me in his HOUSE right when he needed me. How cool is that? I got to take care of my Daddy.
2)Shortly after we moved to Mesquite, my Granny was diagnosed with breast cancer, again. She was my very best friend and I was heartbroken, not for her but for me. This time she wasn't going to beat it. Because I was close, I was able to be her caretaker for the last few weeks of her life. This stands as one of the biggest privileges of my life. It is a beautiful thing when a saint goes to heaven. I wouldn't have missed it for the world and I was there because of all that happened in McAllen.
3) Somehow, we ended up with enough money to buy a house after all that foolishness. Months of frugal living and getting Terry's back salary, plus a few other things and all of a sudden we went from no home no job to great home and great job. So much more than we imagined.

These are, of course, but a few of the ways God took care of us. We were never forsaken and our children never begged for bread. (Psalm 37:25) I used to think that Terry losing his job was the worst thing that could ever happen, but I was so wrong. We discovered that we are so loved, by our families, by friends who were constantly trying to find us jobs, and by our Heavenly Father. So I have lowered my standards. If the paycheck clears, I'm happy. I don't worry about the future so much. I let tomorrow worry about itself. I don't get too attached to stuff...except my A/C. I miss my stolen purse, but I've been just fine without it. I would be sad to lose my home and my stuff, but I know that I have already gained that which I can't lose.

And by the way, the realtor in McAllen? I've googled her several times over the years trying to find an address so I could tell her how much their actions meant to us and say "thanks" one more time. I can't find a trace of her and she's a realtor. Make of it what you will.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Rules for church visitation

I had lunch today with my girlfriend Kristin and girlfriend-in-training, 5 month old Allison. It was nice to lunch with someone else's baby. She didn't roll her eyes or heavy sigh at me even once. **sigh** She was very well behaved and kept herself entertained. She even cracked herself up a few times. I'm not sure she realized Kristin and I were there. She just held court and cracked herself up. She's going to be a diva, that one.

Kristin thought I should share these rules with you guys. I have many friends and family members who, for one reason or another, are out visiting churches. Maybe you feel God is leading you to a new house of worship, maybe you have to visit Aunt Sally's church for Christmas. Now, I am trusting that you know the Lord. I don't share these with just anyone, only people I know are firmly in the body of Christ. If I'm iffy about your eternal status, I figure you need all the church you can get! If you don't know Jesus, stop reading now. I'm willing to let you sit through to the 12th altar call.

Terry and I are veteran church visitors (not to be confused with church hoppers.) When we have to go forth and track down a new church home, we have it down to a precision system. This took years of trial and error. I hope it helps make your church visiting experience a little easier.

Terry would like me to tell you that he used to dream of , just once, visiting a church incognito. His dream for years, was NOT to hear as soon as he enters the building for the first time ever: "Oh, you're Terry! I have just had a marvelous time getting to know your wife. She's a spark plug! I hear you're an amazing teacher. How is that toe healing up? We prayed for you on Wednesday, keep us posted." Terry always felt like the Christmas goose. They always knew who he was and he felt like he was at a job interview. He just yearned to be stealth.

How do you make an impression before you ever visit? I have no interest in visiting 300 churches. The way to avoid that, call first. If I can't get any information from the receptionist or secretary, end of call. If they sound like they don't attend said church...goodbye. Why would I attend if you won't? (I know there are lovely church secretaries who worship elsewhere...don't email me.) Needless to say, I usually get passed up the line until I end up in the Pastor's office so he can answer the questions on the Pastor Test. (I'm pretty sure they all stay on the line so they can all be amused by the crazy lady caller.) ***Yes, this is a real thing. Yes, it came about by necessity. There are just some things I don't want to learn on accident again. Yes, this MORTIFIES my non-confrontational and preferably invisible husband. NO, I have never had a Pastor object...to my face. They love it when you ask well informed, well-intentioned questions, respectfully in a cute lil' East Texas accent and end it with, "bless your heart." They usually tell me they wish other people would ask more questions. Yes, they do tend to remember the accent, and it does tend to leave an impression, and we were never incognito.*** In my defense, he knew me before he married me.

This has led us to come up with the following Rules for Church Visitation. These are foolproof and guaranteed to get you in and out without homework. Don't laugh, I have some dear friends who recently visited a church for the first time and left with homework. I'm still laughing myself to sleep over that one. These rules might require some sacrifice, but it will be worth it. This is serious business, after all. Under these rules, there are several churches who thought I was a single mom for years. He's stealth now.


Lawson Visitation Rules (tongue completely in cheek)
1) NEVER use your real names. Tyler= George. Ashley= Frieda. I just make a mean face and intimidate anyone who tries to ask my name. They never even notice Terry. The names George and Frieda are currently free. Feel free to use them.
2) Never, ever fill out a form! If they try to force you, just pretend to fill it out and put it in your Bible. If you give them one shred of information, they will haunt you for years.
3) Never be even 2 minutes early. This leads to awkward staring and forced conversation with strangers who you may have already decided you don't particularly care for.
4)The second the final song is finished, hit the parking lot at a run. You may have to leave your babies (George and Frieda) behind if they can't keep up. I know you will miss them at first, but someone will put their pictures on the news and I'll claim them and return them home. Our first Sunday at Stepping Stones, I ran out with Jeff running behind me. I beat him to my car and we were out of the lot before he caught us. It may sound rude, but I didn't leave with homework. (He forgave me.)
5) Make like a New Yorker (the only time I will say this) and NEVER make eye contact. If you accidentally look anyone in the eye who is over 55, you must abort and immediately enact rule #4.
6) Don't sing too loud, they will try to recruit you for the Praise Team. Never tell your friends named Donna that you sang in Carnegie Hall or or in the All-State Choir or you might be joined up on accident before you visit.
7) Never participate in a small group. You may attend, (don't forget rule 2 and 3) but don't show off the smarts or the next thing you know you have your own class. If you really wow em', they'll make you a deacon and then what will you do?
8) Use you caller ID and door peephole. Some of those pesky churches actually visit you even if you carefully followed rules 1and 2. I'm not sure how they do it.
9) Don't accidentally show interest in the babies in the nursery or you will be the new nursery worker. As a matter of fact, Your babies, George and Frieda, might need to learn these rules before you can trust them alone in the nursery. They might get a little blabby and speak of your love of children to those nursery ladies. Begin calling them George and Frieda immediately so they will be able to keep up.
10) If all else fails and it's heading downhill and you are about to get sucked into a class party or homework or some such, just say very loudly..."YOU KNOW WE ARE REALLY CATHOLIC!!"


And I would add as an amendment...
If you have a wife who is going to call first anyway and give the "Pastor Test" respectfully, with a cute lil' East Texas accent and end it with, "bless your heart," you may all need to learn a non impact Midwestern accent and duct tape the wife's mouth. IF YOU DARE!


Grateful

Today is Veteran's Day. (It is also my Papa's 91st birthday. Mine's tomorrow. I turn 34 again. I'm getting really good at it.) I have nothing smart to say, no wisdom to impart today. Just a huge giant "thank you" for those who have served, fought and died so that we can be free. I know several men and women who have served. I am grateful beyond words that I can worship as I choose. I can live where I choose and when my children go to bed at night I know they are safe. You gave up much to keep our nation free. Some of you returned to a nation that didn't welcome you home and didn't save a place for you. You did it willingly and you served honorably. You are Pastors, carpenters, IT guys and gals, teachers, mechanics and many other things. Because of you I am free and I will never take it for granted. Thank You!

(Tomorrow I will be back to my old snarky self.)

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Vote

So it will soon be time for me to drink my own kool-aid and vote. This is the first time in memory I haven't been excited to exercise my constitutional privilege and vote. I don't like my presidential choices and I have much to say about our country's primary process, but that will keep for another rant. I am going to hold my nose, hold my breath and vote for the candidate that most closely mirrors those things that are the most meaningful to me. My top (in random order)
a) sanctity of marriage
b) sanctity of life
c) border security and no amnesty for illegal aliens
d) supreme court
e) drilling
f) war
g) taxes and no socialism

I know many people disagree with the things I have on my list. There is a great bit of disagreement, even among people I love and respect. So if you agree with my candidates, vote. If you don't agree with me...vote anyway, just be sure you are informed. There are many great non-partisan voter's guides out there. Be informed and then, as we say in Texas, vote early: vote often. (Just kidding about the often.)

Oh yeah, I am putting Alan Keyes, ( http://www.alankeyes.com/) ON NOTICE for not having a successful campaign so I could vote for him. I never got to know him well enough to know how deep my devotion would be. :(

Sunday, October 5, 2008

This just breaks my heart.

I've had a Facebook page for about 6 months and I have just been having a blast reconnecting with old friends who are also on Facebook. Last night I decided to look on MySpace to see if there were old buddies lurking there, so I did a classmate search. I found out that without a last name, I can't place most of the people because they look like grown-ups. (When did we grow up? I'm pretty sure I haven't.) I came upon a lady from my class who I couldn't recognize and so I started poking around on her page. What I found there broke my heart.

This was posted among her blog entries as the eulogy her ex-husband wrote for himself...to be read at his funeral. This isn't well written, but it shook my world and reminded me that we are not all who we seem to be.

" (to be read at my funeral)
This may be a surprise to many, even those who think they know me best. Lots of you will talk about the wonderful things I've done or the good man and a strong christian. However I am bound for hell. I know God exists I have never had a doubt I know he's a god of love though I've never felt it. I have called on him repetitively, but never repentant. I've tried to live a good life but my heart is full evil. The only true emotions felt are lust and hate. So though I'm sitting next to you saying the prayers. I pray for you. Our paths are different. For where I'm heading is lonely and my eternity I fear I just wish Gods love will shine to you. Please feel free to cry, but not for me, but for the lost saint sitting next to you...........I'm Sorry"


This guy wanted this read at his funeral so everyone would know that he had been deceiving them. That he was a faker. That he talked the talk, was probably fluent in "christianese," but ultimately had no relationship with Christ. I can't imagine the horror at his funeral when people who thought they knew him heard this. If I had been there, I would have taken it personally. Maybe people did know what was truly in his heart and he didn't realize it. Either way, my heart breaks for him, and also for the man he could have been. However, as I sat in church this morning, I looked around and realized just how little I truly know people. I hadn't really realized until today how little I invest in others.

We are relatively new at our church, so it is natural that we don't really know anyone intimately yet. So I began to think, how many people do I know? I don't mean how many people am I acquainted with, buddies with, but how many do I KNOW and LOVE? I realized that the answer is really pitiful. I have lots of friends, but we don't spend a lot of time together. In the last fifteen or so years, I have really only bothered to get to KNOW and LOVE one person. One??? I couldn't believe it. Then I thought about how many people I have allowed to truly KNOW and LOVE me in the same time frame and the answer is one. Now that one person is a true sister and we can't live on this planet without each other, but I don't think God ever intended for us to be so closed off.

So while this guy never intended to, he has touched my life. I am going to make an effort to invest in more people, to KNOW and LOVE them. I am going to maybe even let a few people in to KNOW and LOVE me, not just the Donna I want them to know, but the godly, sinning, repentant, funny, cute imperfect hot mess that I am. This will be hard for me.

Look around at the people in your life. Could someone like this guy be lurking there? Would you know? Have you invested yourself in others enough? Have you opened yourself up to the wondrous possibilities and possible pain and disappointment from walking alongside your fellow man...not a few steps in front or behind, but beside?

This is going to be rough for me. I let people think they know me, but I guard my heart closely. However my example is Christ and he was real! I hope this gives you something to think about and maybe just maybe this man's death can speak to us and some good can come.

" 7Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son[b] into the world that we might live through him. 10This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for[c] our sins. 11Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." 1John 4: 7-12

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Terry Lawson is ON NOTICE, and my plan to Donnaize The Biggest Loser

I have a confession. I love reality TV. I know you are surprised, I seem so much classier than that, but it's true. Plus, with economic uncertainties and a looming college bill, I'm worried that Donna is going to have to get a job. (I'm sorry, I blacked out there for a minute. I haven't worked in almost 19 years and the prospect terrifies me.) So as I sat here watching one of my favorites, "The Biggest Loser,"...on TIVO with no commercials, of course... I got really mad at Terry! I was going to win that money, become a huge celebrity (complete with my own paparazzi,) and save myself from having to become a productive member of society! But not now, NO. First, they won't cast Terry and second, they can't cast me until they redo the show.

I'm watching the show and thinking, "I could soooo kick that Jillian's behind! I wouldn't stand there and watch her talk to me that way. I would snap her like a twig!" Then, after she comes around to my way of thinking, over chicken fried steak, we would be snarky, sarcastic besties. I know her life will never be fulfilled until I get on the show and show her how she could stand to gain a few. Then she wouldn't have to be so cranky. Everyone knows you can't be all angry and eat cheesecake at the same time. She is a few hot fudge sundaes away from happy. There would probably be fewer pounds lost, but I bet it would be more fun and still good TV. I don't think I want to be besties with Bob. He is too touchy feely for me, and we all know I am not a huggy girl. **shudder**

This is where Terry comes in. I realized as I was watching that they have done two seasons of couples now, so that must be their new thing. Darn him and his healthy eating, gym working out, fabulous body having ways. It was already difficult for the rest of us to keep up bad eating habits because he does the grocery shopping. (Disclaimer: If you read my last blog post, you know that I already know that our bad habits are wrong. That would make the answer to your question....YES! I know I am being a hypocrite and if you really knew me you would already know I'm OK with it.) Now, I love the way he looks. I have to admit that, in the past, I tried to chunk him up a bit because he works with mostly women and I can't be sure that they are all old and ugly. So, I tried to make him less cute, but: 1) it's not possible, (He's a cutie no matter what) and 2) back to those healthy eating gym going ways. It didn't take. So I am going to have to put Terry Lawson ON NOTICE! We could have won $250,000 and I could be a star if he would have just pursued a less healthy lifestyle. I just know I would have been the show's breakout star and be saved from an uncertain life of possible gainful employment!

They would have to make lots of changes to accommodate my "eccentricities." First, I wouldn't be caught dead either on a scale or in that get up they make contestants wear to weigh in. Not only would I not do it on national television, I wouldn't do it all alone in my house in the back bathroom, lights off, with a towel shoved under the door to muffle my screams! Uh, uh. No way. Not happening. That would have to go. Also, all that exercising won't work for me. I walk around...OK sit around... barely breathing as it is. God gave me this asthma as a "birth"day present, so I assume He never wanted me to be a gym rat. I've done it in the past with almost fatal results. So, all that exercising is going to have to be cut wayyyyy back. I'm thinking a nice karaoke contest for immunity. Trust me, the other fatties on the show will thank me. They don't want to keep hauling it all the way up a mountain and back down again. Oh yeah, Allison Sweeney will have to be recast. I'm not sharing the screen with her. I'm gonna need them to cast an uggo. Oh, and we will also be trying to sneak some Jesus into the show because, well, it's what I do. I'm going to have to be promised that I can be either the blue or purple team because I look great in those colors and they both work with my eyes. I would consider black in an emergency because of its slimming effects.

I'm going to need them to bring in the chef that Oprah had when she lost all that weight. She ate good and still swunk up. That's what I'm talking about! Still healthy eating, just not cardboard eating. Plus, I'm not about to be cooking for all of those people. There is no way they will be broadcasting my weight. I'm just going to have to tell them how much I weigh, and how much I lost and they will just have to take my word for it. I don't care if everyone else weighs in. They should have negotiated a better deal. Another thing, I don't care to share a room with other people at "The Ranch." I don't know them like that. I'll need my own room and bathroom with a jacuzzi tub. (Karaoke might make me pull a muscle. It's for health reasons.) Since Terry won't be with me, I'll need that couples thing to go, too. Most importantly, I will not be crying and whining on camera about my weight. 1) I am never mistreated or teased...to my face, and that's all I really care about. 2) I don't cry. It's one of my things. My maiden name was Cryer, but I just can't live up to it. So, I will be spending my confessional time probably whining that it's too hot and wondering why they can't film in Texas? Finally, they are going to have to remove the words "biggest" and "loser" from the title. "Biggest" is just rude, and since we are all made in God's image, we will not be "losers." Let's be honest, under my new rules no one will be a loser in any sense of the word. I'm thinking a nice new name like, "The Donna Show," would be good, but I'm still kicking around titles.

This is my plan. Remember, this is all Terry's fault.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

OK, That's enough! Stop it now!

I have decided to begin this post with my rant of the day! I am sick and tired of people declaring that they are going to live in unrepentant sin...for Jesus. This past week has seen both Ray Boltz and Clay Aiken come "out of the closet." Ray Boltz, if you are unfamiliar, was one of the biggest voices in Contemporary Christian Music (CCM) in the late 80s and 90s. He put out music that moved my soul. I sang "Thank You" and thought of my grandmother many times. Clay Aiken is not a CCM artist, but is a mainstream artist who has always been a professing Christian. But now they are both tired of "living a lie!"

There is no sin in struggling with weakness. The apostle Paul himself had a "thorn" that he struggled with. There are many guesses as to what it was, (I've heard everything from migraines to a miserable wife) but in truth we aren't sure.The sin is in what you do with it and how you handle your struggle.

Please hear me, being an acting homosexual is not commititng the unpardonable sin. Jesus offers forgiveness for EVERY sin. Many evangelicals like to act like it is the worst thing that you can do. I personally believe it is because we are comfortable pointing out sin we aren't committing. You don't hear a lot of sermons on other ways we defile God's temple. I have no hate for homosexuals. In fact, if you know me, you know I have a special soft spot for them in my heart for them. They tend to love my accent and my hair and get my jokes. I understand struggling with a weakness. God loves me no more than He loves each of them.

I'm going to step on my own toes here. I love food! For me to come out of the closet, would be for me to declare, "I am going to wake up every day and eat Ding Dongs until I pass out in a food coma! I am not going to temper myself or deny myself any caloric indulgence! I am going to wrap God's temple that is my body in so much cholesterol laden fat that He will never want to visit! It is OK because God made me this way. He knows I love Ding Dongs and would not want me to be miserable or deny myself the thing I love!" Of course, this is ridiculous. Not only would that be unrepentant sin, it is very unhealthy. So I struggle, but I don't kid myself. Sin is sin. Period. But continuous, unrepentant sin is quite another. Somebody has apples on their orange tree. The Word says we will be known by our fruit.

So for the fact that they are confusing the Body of Christ with their twisted doctrine, I am putting Clay Aiken and Ray Boltz on Notice! Stop pretending that your sin is exempt from being sin!! It is insulting to other people who struggle with sin and it is confusing to immature Christians. When faced with an amazing opportunity to be a witness to a whole group of struggling, confused people, you chose to claim your sin as God's best for your life. GIVE ME A BREAK! God still loves you. The Body is hemorrhaging enough. Please don't add to the blood loss.

I've been trying to think of an intelligent way to say what I've been thinking about this whole government bailout thing. Luckily, my friend Chip, wrote it first and so I decided to print it here. I have his permission. You don't have to agree, but I share this point of view:

Tough Love
We stand at the edge of a defining moment in the history of our great nation, again. These times crop up every once in a while and unfortunately they arise because of our past failures as a nation to do the right thing. Our demagogues that get elected every cycle haven’t in the past and apparently now in the present been able to grasp the simple concept of the responsibility they hold in Washington. I’m not sure at what point in our history this started eluding our politico’s but I do know that the prior understanding has long since disappeared in that Xanadu called D.C.
In our nations history we have had great sacrifices made by every generation that have protected and benefited future generations to come and we are all better off because if it. While not every one has the ability or desire to serve in the military we all face a very important opportunity in our lives currently; an opportunity for every person, regardless of situation, to make a difference for future generations to come.
Our elected officials in Washington are on the brink of passing massive bailout legislation which as of this morning might possibly now include student loans and credit cards. It is time for everyone to stand up and let Washington know that the time for some tough love is upon us. It is time to end this ocean of easy money and put a stop to this politically correct feel good notion that everyone is capable of owning a home. Truth be told anything that is obtained easily isn’t valued and we are seeing this maxim play out in spades. History shows these bailouts don't stop future ones because nobody actually pays a price for bad decisions. As a father of four I can assure you that if there is no price to pay for derelict behavior, the behavior continues.
This wont be an easy thing to do certainly, however the prudent and proper course of action rarely is the easiest. We all know our statesmen in D.C. wont make the tough decisions, their track records are evidence enough regardless of political party. So it is up to us to step forward and write that letter, type that e-mail or make that phone call to put a stop to this mobius strip we find ourselves on economically as a nation.
Just like our elected officials need a nudge to get them moving down the proper trail, here lies the prod for you. Take 20 minutes out of your day and do the right thing, for many it will be the first time to step out and make a decision that you know might be painful to you. However it is far less risky than decisions made by prior generations.
To get you started you can find the contact information of your Senator here http://www.senate.gov/general/contac...nators_cfm.cfmWhen you finish with them feel free to move on to the House. You can find your congressman’s contact info here https://forms.house.gov/wyr/welcome.shtml
The one thing you can be sure of in Washington is that those who serve there only care about one thing, returning to their jobs upon re-election. It’s time again to use this fact to steer our country in the right direction since its obvious nobody currently has their hand on the wheel.

You tell 'em Chip. I'll vote for you. have you thought about running for office?

Friday, September 5, 2008

God says leave and cleave!!! Today's Nonsense winner is...

Dalia! So before you get all over me for spreading my friends business all over the entire www, she asked me to tell her story. Let this serve as a warning for all of you parents, soon to be parents, and grandparents. If you have babies or toddlers, I know they are cute now, but start setting those boundaries today. This could be you in a few years.

Our Bible passage of the day comes from Genesis 2: 24. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."(NIV) In the King James it says, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." In other words, LEAVE AND CLEAVE! You can't learn to cleave if you won't leave. Why would you ever need to learn to weather the storms of life together if there are never any storms?

As you know, I can be just a teeny bit bossy. If I know that you are breaking the law, I will turn you in. Then I will visit you in jail...maybe. As a rule, I don't put up with nonsense, except for my own...even if I am the Queen of Nonsense. People generally don't call me if they are doing something foolish and ask me what I think, because if you ask me...I will tell you. My friend Dalia can't seem to learn this, so occasionally she calls me in the middle of her foolishness. Now, you need to know that God only made a few hearts like Dalia's. She is one of the sweetest, most beautiful people I have ever met. She reminds me a lot of my Mom. She is a loyal friend and I believe she loves Jesus with all her heart. She is also a doormat. A beautiful doormat, but a doormat nonetheless.

Dalia is the Mommy to 3 grown sons. I use the word "Mommy," because she still babies them all. I have seen her leave an adult, dress -up party to drive home and cook them a meal from scratch because they called and told her to. THEY WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL, AND ALL HAD DRIVER'S LICENSES, JOBS AND CARS! They are now all adults. The youngest two still live at home, but they go to college and have jobs. The oldest one recently married and inherited an instant family. He lived at home until he got married. He has his own home now, but apparently, even so, they have moved into Dalia's house without asking. She would rather be liked than happy, so she is letting them just live in her house. She is cooking for them, watching their kids and not asking one thing in return. She hasn't asked them why they are there because she doesn't want her son mad at her. She also won't tell them to leave. AAAGGGHHHH!!!

I remember telling my Daddy I was mad at him one time. He was unconcerned with whether I was angry or not. He didn't stop to worry that I might not like him. He told me that I could "get glad in the same pants I got mad in." That is country speak for, "Watch your mouth. I don't care if you are mad. Get over it." When Ashley was a baby I developed my parenting "mission statement." I didn't call it that, but I have quoted it enough over the years that both kids know it by heart. Terry and I have set this standard, and I think it has worked. It goes like this: "It is not my job to be your friend. It is my God-given job and responsibility to be your parent. You will grow up to be a God-fearing, law-abiding, tax paying citizen of Earth. You may choose only whether you do it the easy way or the hard way. Either way, I'll go with you. I'm up to it. I love you!"

One of the things I first loved about Terry is that he treated his mother like a queen. I wanted to be a queen, and so I knew that he knew how to treat a woman because I witnessed it in them. They both think the other is perfect. She loves to spoil him and do special nice things for him. He loves to do nice things for her. It makes them both all happy inside. However, it is a treat and not an every day occurrence. He would never, ever take advantage of his mother. To him, she is a gift from God and should be revered as such. He would put her on the throne and meet her every need before she thinks of it, if he had the means. She would do the same for him, but she knows solving all his problems would keep him from being independent. I love their relationship. She is available for him any time he needs her, but she never meddles or butts in. They are an example I think everyone should follow.

Here is the Rant of the Day: It is not loving or kind to your children to set no boundaries and to let them just run all over you. It is not loving not to cut the cord when they are adults. It is not loving to allow adult children to take advantage of your kindness. It is not loving to allow your son to teach your grand babies to run all over you. It is not kind to allow them to grow up thinking women are nothing more than their servants. It is not loving to "baby" your adult children and meet their every need before they have a chance to be independent and work things out on their own. It is not loving to let your adult offspring be children! It is abusive, and a strong godly woman will not allow her son to treat her in such a manner. She is setting an example and she will not want her daughter in law to be treated this way. Your adult children cannot learn how to have a successful marriage if they have a "mommy" in the middle.

So, obviously I had to put Dalia ON NOTICE! She is a fearfully and wonderfully made woman of God who needs to grow a backbone. She wants you all to comment and give her some ideas as to how to get her son and his family out of the house. (OK, she thought you would all tell her how sorry you felt for her, but I told her this audience would probably not come to the pity party.) Here is my suggestion: On a large fluorescent pink poster board, write the following in large letters and attach it to your front door. Then there can be no confusion.

HOUSE RULES FOR ADULT CHILD WITH HIS OWN APARTMENT:
1) Love you. Mean it!
2) GO HOME NOW.
3) Call next time before you VISIT.
4) GO Home NOW! You should have left before you got to this line. Now GO!!!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

So, maybe I was wrong about Teddy

I'm sure he missed the kids and all, but as it turns out, Teddy was in pain. Today he was diagnosed with hip dysplasia. This is a degenerative disease and manageable, but not curable. If you know him, you know he was very poorly bred. I like to say he's twice the dog! We love him like family. He is a good and faithful friend to all of us.

We covet your prayers, for us... because we have to put him on a diet, and as I mentioned before, he's not about to starve. He will find food. I always had disdain for people who treat their pets like people, but I think I may have become one. I already have my personal architect, Quenton, designing him a chic cart in case he loses the use of his back legs. And if worse comes to worse, I will put him in a giant purse and have him become a purse dog. There are two problems with that plan. 1) He weighs in at over 50 pounds and lifting him is no easy feat, not to mention carrying. 2) Copper isn't about to let Teddy become a purse dog unless he gets to be a purse dog too. Between them, that's quite a load. Now that I think of it, I better have Quenton design two carts. If Teddy needs one Copper will insist on one too. His will have to be cuter, or he will just be impossible. Maybe a double stroller...

I've been trying to figure out who I can put "ON NOTICE" over this, but he is God's creature and I'm not calling out God. He knows what he's doing, but He's not doing it my way. Go figure, the God of the Universe doesn't consult me on His decisions. Boy, would I mess this world up. Let's all pause and give thanks that Donna isn't in charge. In the words of my favorite After's song, "Thank God I'm Not The One!"

Even though I misdiagnosed him for my previous post, the lesson still stands and I am thankful that we can learn a great lesson even in the midst of a hardship. I am going to have to go check my veterinarian license. I must have gotten it at aTm. ;P

Sunday, August 31, 2008

God's grief

I think I got a small glimpse into how God grieves when we fail him. Believe it or not, it came by way of our Giant Beagle Dog, Teddy.


Teddy is really Tyler's dog and he knows it. He is a bit of a "Mother Hen." He needs to be in the center of whatever we are doing. He would prefer if we make it all about him. He loves us all with everything he has. When we step on him or fall over him, he always forgives us happily, tail wagging. He greets us at the door when wecome home after having been gone with a "Snoopy dance," and he does the same when dinner is served. He has even forgiven us when, on occasion, we run out of food and he has to wait until morning to eat. He gets a little grumpy and will come by and lick me. I know he's telling me that he is basting me because if that food doesn't come soon...he's eating me first.

Lately we have all been out of sorts just a bit. Ashley is excited to be a Senior, but nervous about all of the decisions and responsibility of picking a college. Tyler is happy to be in High School, but nervous about going to his school. I have been stricken by early "empty nest syndrome" and Terry is tired of looking older than he is. (He got a man make-over today, and he's hhhhoooottt)

I have been reading the book, "Disappointment with God" by Phillip Yancey. He is a brave man. Most of us would never admit that we have ever disappointed with our Savior. This got me to thinking about grieving.At one point, we lost 4 family members in less than 4 years and one of them had a mean form of dementia before she passed, so I have seen many people grieve. I have held many a hand through the grieving process. I know I don't grieve properly, because my family always tells me I am "holding in my grief in." I suppose it is true. It is hard for me to mourn for someone who has attained that which I someday hope to attain. Heaven. I am not a crier, so I usually am stoic. I am good to have in an emergency because I don't have a panic button. So over the years, I've been closely acquainted with grief, but very seldom has my heart been torn out. The most grieving I do is when I see things in Christians, myself included, and churches that I know break the heart of God. Then I began wondering what is is like when God grieves. I know He grieves. The Bible is replete with numerous stories of people grieving God. For a biblical example, read about the Jews. Or how about this: "And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Ephesians 4:30" We wouldn't be warned not to grieve the Holy Spirit if it never happened.

This all converged Monday morning, the first day of school, into a spectacle I hope I never have to witness again. Terry left for work before any of us, including the dogs, were awake.Then we all got up early to start our day. This had not happened all summer and even the dogs had gotten used to sleeping in. Then their kids were with them most of the day. When it came time for the kids to leave for school, I heard Tyler tell Teddy he couldn't go to school and then he shut the door. I cannot ever properly describe the scene that followed, but I will try. He immediately started crying and jumping around like he was on fire. I called Terry at work to tell him to mortgage the house! The dog was hurt and I was taking him to the hospital. Terry didn't answer. The dog just kept wailing, but he also ran to the back door. I realized then he wasn't too hurt. Maybe he needed to go... He ran out and ran around the pool and began to try to dig out under the fence. He was trying to get to the kids! He was in a freak out because his "babies" left. (It might be because they left him with me.)

I made him come back inside. I checked him out to be sure nothing was broken. He was still baying and howling and carrying on like a paid mourner at an 18th century funeral. I sat on the floor with him and I held all 50 pounds of him while he wailed. A beagle snout turns into a great microphone when it is blasting in your face. Now, this was all not fair, because I had "have nervous breakdown" on my schedule for that morning because of that empty nest thing and he was stealing it. I sat and rocked him and we cried together for a literal hour. Then I noticed his tail start wagging and at that point, he was just using me for my ear scratching abilities.

He then went and put his chin on the window sill where he can see the driveway and stayed there all day until the babies were home. He forgave them for leaving them and pretty soon, he was back to "Snoopy dance" again

I realized that I grieve my Father when I walk away from Him. He yearns for me to return. He waits and watches. He wants to hang around with me and have my life center around Him. He does a happy dance, maybe not literally but you get my meaning, when we return. But those times when we leave Him or sin against Him, we break His heart. I can now imagine that if Teddy's grief is maybe 1/10,000 of God's grief, I don't want to be responsible for it. I also love knowing that as soon as we ask, we are back to "happy beagle" time. Immediate forgiveness. Beautiful. A promise you can count on. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9" Isn't our God beautiful and creative. I love it when he teaches me a lesson using props. I just hope they are a little quieter props next time.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

The Dream...church...Team!

Last year I was teaching in the youth ministry at church. I was also thinking, I am so fed up with foolishness that I think I will start my own church. (Sorry Wes, I guess this is what I do when I should have been paying attention. My bad.)

We will do things God's way! We will not care what cool new program is "in" right now or what the trends or statistics say. We will ask the Lord for guidance and we will obediently follow. We will not have a CEO or "hatchet person." We will treat God's people with dignity and respect. If you say God is speaking to you, you better not contradict scripture. We will not even hear a "that's not my calling," or "I've done my time." And we will never, ever, have someone tell you where to park. I believe if you can drive, you know what the stripes are for.

I looked around me and I realized that I had almost everyone I needed right there in front of me. Somehow, I feel God had put the best of the best in that ministry at that time. So I will import one family full of foolishness hating folks and here is a new virtual church! Woo Hoo. Of course we can't ever meet or "do church" because we are all people and with people comes foolishness. But just imagine... It should be noted that I don't hate my own foolishness. Only the foolishness of those who don't amuse me. At least I'm honest. So here is our church staff line up. (Not in order of importance.)Tell me what you think.

Pastor- Wes: I know he's a youth minister, but he will be a pastor someday. He will be a pastor who is a shepherd. He truly cares about his people. I believe that he will put together some amazing, dynamic, challenging messages that will make you think Jesus is in the room. He is going to have to have a few more kids because I believe you have to have at least 5 to qualify as a pastor. Maybe you can adopt a few from China. They have a bunch extra and Terry won't let me have one. My friend Laura can help you with information. But I digress...

Associate Pastor or "Jesus Police"- Tyler : We all know the boy is going to "make a preacher" some day. I want his mentors to be the best, so we are starting him out early. He will spend a lot of time like Jesus did when he was a boy. He will be asking everyone challenging spiritual and theological questions. This will keep us all on our toes. However, for now, he is the Jesus Police. He will go around asking people : "Why is that movie OK for you to watch if it isn't OK for your kids?" He will also be in charge of making sure the schedule stays on schedule. You can't mess with that boy's schedule.

Youth Minister- Marcus: He is a youth minister called to youth ministry. I really believe it is its own special calling. He will teach the kids Jesus, make disciples, witness to the lost and throw an occasional pie or roll of toilet paper. Whichever the situation warrants. He will also let the rest of us spend some time in youth because we love it and for most of us, this is our behavior level. I didn't put Wes here, because I already made him pastor and I don't think he'll have time for two jobs, but he can come in any time, I'm sure.

Music : Tricia and Donna: Trisha will be in charge. I am not in her league. She is amazingly talented. The woman can sing and play! She also can do it all while making a lung and a foot and a brain. I'm pretty sure she could also throw a roll of toilet paper at the same time. I decided to put myself here as second in command because: 1) I made the list and 2) I will be in charge of old fogey music. The music most of you don't like, but you would if you ever read and digested the words. That's right. We will sing some hymns. Then we will live them out. We will not only sing hymns, we will sing praise music, worship music, old music, new music, and if we need to, we will sing no music. On occasion, we might need to get "back to the heart of worship."

Men's ministry- Chip: I imported him and his family. We need them. Chip is a wise man of God. He is a "man's man." Plus he is an amazing golfer. You know you can't have a men's ministry without a golf tournament. It simply isn't done. I think he will be great at growing men into "God's Men!!"

Women's Ministry-Me: I am so excited about my pretend ministry!

Administrator- Terry: We are going to take advantage of his financial education and non-profit experience. This job is perfect for him. He once was almost sure this was where God was calling him, but then he decided it was not. Maybe God will call him to the pretend church. There will be no financial foolishness when Terry is on the case. A plus is that we will have the cutest administrator in fake land.

Education Minister- Frank & Kristin: I put them both here because they are specially suited and it's a big job. Frank will be writing a lot of our discipleship material and so will Kristin. They are both smart, witty, and talented. They will be overseeing everything that falls under adult discipleship.

Pre-School & Children's Minister- Laura and the kids: Sorry, Laura. I know you thought you had moved out of this role, but you have experience and you're really good at it. The girls will help out a lot as will the boys. This is a godly woman, married to Chip, who will be sure our littlest ones (remember, there are babies and potential babies everywhere) are taught about Jesus. She will rock them and tell them Jesus loves them. She will organize the workers like no one else but Marcus could do. She will make sure people show up.

Whatever she wants- Elisha: She has earned the right to do whatever she wants. She can hang out with youth, teach kids, be the secretary or rest...whatever.

I think this is a good start. There are a few holes. If you think we should move someone around, let me know. I'm sorry, you will not be able to refuse your virtual position. It is pretend, after all.

Friday, August 15, 2008

You have to love them, but you don't have to keep them in your boat!

A few years ago, I was talking to my friend Audrey about how I was tired of Christians and the shallow, worldly way we often treat each other. (That's right, I said it. You know you've thought it too.) She said, "Jesus said we have to love them but He didn't say we have to keep them in our boat." She is a woman of few words, but when she speaks, she is like E.F.Hutton. I listen.This has been life changing for me.

What, or who, is your boat? It is your nearest and dearest. You can't fit as many people into a boat as a house. A boat is a very intimate setting, so whoever is in it with you better love you, warts and all, and vice-versa. It's not a ship. It's small and sometimes stinky and can get a little messy. You need to work together in your boat to get anywhere. If you don't row together, you are just wasting energy. Sometimes, you may have to toss someone overboard. I believe women struggle with the concept. We tend to try to keep a whole house load of people and ALL of their business in our boats. I meet so many women just burdened by people in their boats. Some of those people are trying desperately to jump, but the good intentioned woman keeps dragging those poor souls back in. Some need to be let go.

I met a beautiful woman this past week in our Sunday School class. She was asking for prayer for some co-workers who were making her life miserable. Our lesson that day was partly from Acts 15: 36 - 40.
36Some time later Paul said to Barnabas, "Let us go back and visit the brothers in all the towns where we preached the word of the Lord and see how they are doing." 37Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them, 38but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work. 39They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus, 40but Paul chose Silas and left, commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord.

I love this passage and I believe it teaches us a valuable lesson. You see, Paul literally put Barnabus out of his boat. What is usually focused on here is the "sharp disagreement" between Paul and Barnabus. Nobody understands Paul point of view, because we know the end of the story. They had been a great pair! Oh, God had used them together mightily. You see, Barnabus had brought the newly saved Saul (Paul) to the disciples. Saul had tried to go to the disciples himself, but they were afraid of him. (Acts 9:26-27) Paul and Barnabus were together on the first missionary journey (Acts 13-14.) They were tight. Then came the "sharp disagreement," a kerfuffle, if you will. Barnabus wanted to include his cousin John Mark on the next trip and Paul was fed up with the boy. Mark had deserted them earlier and Paul was not in a forgiving mood. So, they split. It doesn't tell us in the text, but I know it was miserable and agonizing for the both of them. I know they missed each other, but the relationship was no longer the best thing for the ministry. Paul thought John Mark was useless, but Barnabus saw something worthwhile in him.

Here's my favorite part. Together they were one amazing missionary team, but separately...they were TWO great missionary teams. Twice the people reached for Jesus, twice the ground covered. Twice the greatness! If they had not split, it would have been less than God's best.

Ladies, sometimes we need to "clean house...boat." Sometimes a relationship is no longer God's best. I have cleaned out my boat lately. There are quite a few great....and not-so-great Children of God treading water around my boat. I still love them,in an agape kind of way, but we were no longer God's best for each other. I know they are happy to be released and I am glad to have room for some new boat mates. I am also glad to have room to breathe. Those other people, they will flourish without me. I will flourish without them and separately, we will storm the world for Jesus and reach more ground.

That lady in class? She is tossing those work ladies out of her boat! We are going to pray for them, but the relationship is going to change. I'm thinking I'm going to make room in mine for her. As you might have heard, I have a few openings.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Catching up with the Lawsons

It was pointed out to me recently that I neglected to keep you up to date on the comings and goings of the family. There is a good reason. Terry has lived in fear ever since we were married that I would use him as "material" when I begin my career as a stand up comedienne. He has officially forbidden me to write about him, so of course I will catch you up. I love a challenge. Terry's manager, Johnell, recently moved to the beach. (Let's pause and ask God to give her the strength to cope with the cool ocean breezes and laid back lifestyle. I know it's going to be hard on her.) Because he's the Superman of the IT world, he has been given her old job. This "promotion" has come with the loss of a few perks. He was working from home two days a week and off by 5:00 every day. Now he has to go into the office every day and gets home between 7 and 7:30. Somehow, God has smiled on him and he looks younger and younger every day. ;) Why do women get old and haggard and men age and become distinguished. I'm going to take this up with God, but I'm sure He's heard it before.

I must be very nice to him because as I'm typing, he and Tyler are cooking scrambled eggs and pancakes and Mamma knows not to bite the hand that feeds her. He really is the best. I surely don't deserve such a man. I should point out to you that he was raised by amazing parents and my "Proverbs 31" mother-in-law helped to form him into not just a good man, but a godly man. He is so much like his dad that sometimes you can't tell them apart. If you compare old pictures, it is spooky. The elder Lawson is an amazing man of faith and they are both role models for me. I will never be half the woman my mom-in-law is, but it's a worthy goal to try.

Tyler tells me his name is "copyrighted." He gets this from me because I try to claim that my image is "copyrighted" every time someone tries to take my picture. I am not photogenic. I am much cuter and nicer in person. However, no one...especially my father-shutter-bug-in-law has any respect for my claims and they snap away anyway. I checked into Tyler's claim of being copyrighted and it turns out, he never completed his paper work, so I can write at will. This summer has been a summer of transformation for Tyler. He has up and gotten a life! He is a quiet boy (in public) and usually keeps to himself. However, when we changed churches, we changed Tylers. He has gone to camp with a bunch of kids he didn't know, made lots of new friends, and gone to "Fish Camp" at high school. That is the name for freshman orientation. He will be a freshman in the fall and is a little bit anxious about the whole high school thing. He will, of course, love it once he's there, but as for now, he's not convinced. Feel free to leave here a few great high school stories from your past. He needs to hear them.

Ashley is of course, out in the pool with a friend. We consider ourselves blessed if she is at home. I'm worried we will forget what she looks like. There is earth shattering news on the Ashley front...ready? SHE GOT A JOB!! A real, W-4, paycheck and responsibility job. It made her daddy so proud that someone else in this house had a job, he got a little tear in his eye. She also takes after her mom and needs an audience at all times and so she is usually "hanging out" with friends. She is going to be a Senior in the fall and she is excited about that. (I'm excited to have both kids at the same school.) She is not, however, excited about college. She has a touch of the "Peter Pan Syndrome." After spending every day she has been on this earth trying her best to grow up in a hurry, she has now slammed on the brakes. College and everything that goes along with the process is a little scary.

I'm too young to have a high school Senior as a child and I'm already dreading the "letting go part." I have taught women for the last 11 years and a big part of it has been teaching them that you raise your children to not need you. You raise them right in the Lord, and let them go. You trust you did your part as a parent. [My "speech" to my kids has been, "You will grow up to be a God fearing, tax paying, law abiding citizen. You may choose the easy way or the hard way."] I know I am biased, but I do have the two best kids God has ever made. I know she is ready. Truly, she hasn't needed us since she could open the refrigerator. See has always been independent. I raised her to be that way. Now it looks like I'm going to have to drink my own kool-aid and prepare to let her go. Honestly, I'm completely prepared to be a hypocrite and lock her in the basement until she's 40, but that would be selfish. Let's hope I am not too selfish. Feel free to leave her some fun...but appropriate...college stories that can help her shake of the nervousness.

Big changes are a coming. I'm just along for the ride. If you have a minute, would you ask God to help me get through this last year with Ashley at home? I'm afraid, I might ask him to help her fail all of her classes and have to repeat her senior year. I'm almost positive that would be wrong of me. Almost, positive...but tempting.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Continuation of previous post...

I have decided to put my 20 year old AC unit "ON NOTICE!" It can't seem to cool my house when it is over 100 degrees. Yesterday was 107! Yikes. If you are gonna run with the big boys and be an AC unit here in Texas, you've got to know it will be 107 and be prepared, AC unit. We do our part by having the nice AC tech out every year and giving him our retirement savings just to keep you happy, AC unit. You repay me by making me sweat in the uncomfort of my very own home. Shame on you, AC unit. If I want a nap during the day, and we all know I do I have to haul in three extra fans in addition to my ceiling fan and encircle my bed in a vortex of wind. Terry is worried I am accidentally going to create a tornado and end up in Oz. He doesn't mind if I go, but he's worried I'll take him with me and he doesn't have enough vacation time to make his way home on the yellow brick road. He is also positive I'll spend my yellow brick road time whining that I'm hot and that he's making me hike.(( You know it, buddy boy! ) Did I mention he's a wise man? For making the Queen of Nonsense sweat and needlessly worrying Terry about Munchkins and wicked witches, I'm putting you "ON NOTICE'" 20 year old AC unit...but please don't die. We love you.

Runner up is Kathy's fairly new AC Unit that made her come home from our fabulous weekend and find it dead. That's not nice. Also to the 14' alligator caught by Kelly's husband and boys. Don't go getting yourself caught and giving mama a heart attack in the process. Shame, shame on the both of you. Alligator, you're from Louisiana. You should know better.

Last, but not least, head on over to http://movingmycheese.blogspot.com/. This is my cool buddy Frank's blog. There is a beautiful new baby at his house and he is one proud dad. He's a deep thinker, apparently except if his food is too spicy. He always provokes me to think. Read his blog, but scroll down and pay special notice to the video under "real preachers of genius." After you watch it, you'll know who else is "ON NOTICE!"

Dancing Queen...NOT

Praise the Lord for friends! I just returned from my no husbands, no children, no boyfriends, no strangers, annual sacred Girlfriend Weekend! If you are a girl, you should round up your friends and head out for some rest and relaxation. Seriously cool. My group of girlfriends grew up together. Seriously. Kathy moved to town when we were 6. She's the new chick. We have an interesting bond that can only come from time, familiarity and love. No greater women will you find on this planet. We are also all pretty cute, if I do say so myself. All of my girlfriends are just naturally gifted "christian counselors," so there were lots of calls back and forth between some folks in need of prayer and and a shoulder to cry on and the rest of the group.

We had a blast as always. We are a holy group. We participated in lots of fellowship ((baptist speak for eating so much it is surely a sin,)) giving to the needy ((baptist speak for retail therapy)) a little meditation, ((sleep,)) sharing ((baptist speak for "catching up")) and praise music ((Pam brought her guitar and we also went to the Sunday Gospel Brunch at Threadgills.)) Note: If you care to go see the movie, Mamma Mia!, you should ask how many children of the 7o's are there and if they are singers. There were 6 of us and we are all singers. I know the rest of the audience thought our 6 part harmony was sent straight to them from God...and probably asked him to make us shut up. (The answer, NO!) Then of course there was the Abba tribute band we briefly formed in the van after the movie as we sang along to our newly acquired CD. I'm sure we could go pro. We would look amazing in the costumes, and we need a paying gig to make up for some of the "giving." We missed seeing our dear friend Amy because of the gospel brunch. I hope to get to see her next time. She's a warrior for Jesus. I wish you knew her. You'd love her too.

As we were in Austin, we had the opportunity to listen to 3 live music "events." The first was a girl and her keyboard outside on a deck overlooking Lake Austin at a coffe house. She was amazing and relaxing. The girl whining about the heat (me) was annoying but thankfully distracted by the cool music and portable fan. The second was very good cover band, "Pie." They did mostly 70's music with a good deal of 80's and a little 60's music thrown in. Once again, the 6 singers belted it out along with the band, although the speakers were loud enugh to keeep us from distracting the rest of the audience...I think. There was some dancing, but don't worry, it wasn't me. I have learned my lesson the hard way. We almost got "bounced" because Shelly fell asleep on the couch. The poor girl is 8 months pregnant in the record-breaking Texas heat with 5 other crazy women. We wore her out. By Saturday evening, she just needed a little nap, so she snuggled in on a leather couch during the music and took a little snooze. The people of the establishment, however, saw it differently and to them she looked like a passed out drunk chick. Shelly is an attorney, so when they asked about her, she opened her eyes and very succinctly explained to them why they would not be kicking her out. They were so embarassed. I was kind of hoping they would haul us downtown so I could have some more interesting stories. However, none of the rest of my group cared to go to jail so I could have interesting stories. They were probably right. I don't think they would do my nails properly in jail, and I don't have any shoes that match the uniforms. DO they let you shop before you get locked up so that you don't clash? Hmmmm.

I want to ask you to pray fervently for my friend Polly. She isn't blood kin, but she's family, and she's ill. Please pray for her health and let's just on and ask for healing ,if it's God's will. Please pause for a moment and do it now...I'll wait... Then whenever you think of it, please do it often. She is an amazing woman who has had an interesting life. I love her like a sister and so would you if you knew her.

Today's "Good Job" was a tie, so it goes both to Kathy's dog, Shadow and to the not kicked out of the music, Shelly.

Kathy's dog get's the "good job" for not biting me when I so richly deserved it. I accidently knocked her upside the head and then fell keister over teakettle into her little doggie hole she had dug to keep herself cool. I'm sure she is not accustomed to entertaining humans in here little doggie hole, but she was a gracious hostess She allowed me to fall on top of her into the hole, and then dust myself off and climb out. She didn't even laugh in my face, although she ran behind the car to laugh at me behind my back. I heard her, but I couldn't be mad. I was laughing at myself. Then she came back around so I could apologize. She forgave me for defiling her litttle spot, but I don't think we are going to be "besties." So thank you for not biting me and "good job."

Shelly gets a "Good Job" for not giving birth and for being a trooper. We do allow children at Girlfriend wWekend who are in the womb, but once they are out, it simply won't do. Her law is family law and it doesn't ever stop. This woman is amazing. She handled business with compassion and tromped around with us without complaining. This is more than I can say for the whiny girl (me) who drug around holding a little portable fan to her face asking everyone if they knew it was hot. Shelly never complained and I was amazed at her.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Mission trips and the beloved mouse

I am not usually a jealous person. Really. I am so blessed that I can't begin to complain, but these last couple of weeks, I've been a little green. It seems like the whole world is out making a wonderful difference for Jesus and I'm just ...not.

My buddy Kevin is on a musician's mission trip in Africa and I'm so envious I could literally puke. That's right, I said puke. Dahlia, Jeannie and Vicki are in Vietnam working with the Lost Orphans group. They are able to post pictures and they are amazing. A few weeks ago, my friend Kathy and girls from the youth group were in Romania working with The Joshua House group and AIDS orphans. Ashley & the youth group are in New Orleans hosting Sports Camps and last week Corinne was in Guatemala breaking her foot. (The foot breaking wasn't a planned event, but she enjoyed it anyway. How, you ask? She fell and was caught by a cute boy. If you remember being a teenager, you get it.) I know that these people are out there being "Jesus in skin" to others.

So what of us who are behind the scenes? I know I'm not the only person out there who misses out on some of the fun because we have "grown-up" responsibilities (or asthma.) Sometimes we feel that we are useless to the Kingdom because we aren't always on the visible "front lines." We feel that unless we go on a cool trip or cut an enormous check we are doing nothing. This is a lie. Where would the world be if it weren't for parents who raise mighty warriors and prepare them for battle? I think of those children out there in New Orleans right now working at Sports Camp in the devastating heat, whose only goal is to bring Jesus to someone who doesn't know Him. Someone prepared them long before they got on a bus. We should remember that it is a privilege to wait and pray for those who are away from us. We make a difference, too. We may not get the praise, but those the Lord sends out can't do their job if they aren't just smothered in prayer. So, I'm giving myself a break. I wish I was there, but I am content to be here...on watch...standing in the gap...for as long as necessary. Oh, and sooo thankful that God sent someone else to do the cooking and sweating part. Thank you, RaeNell & Sarah.

Now, onto "rant of the day." Let me preface by saying I have serious issues with Pat Robertson. I feel he has done some damage to the name of Christ, but I have also at times shamed my Savior's name, so I only throw a very small nerf stone. That said, I saw something that appalled me the other evening. Guess who is responsible? That's right...the beloved mouse, Mickey. Disney/ABC Family has a new show titled "The Secret Life Of Teenagers." I can't comment about the show yet other than to say I am saddened by the culture to which our children are exposed. I'll comment on the show after I've seen enough of it to get an idea which way it is headed. (On a side note: John Schneider, aka Bo Duke was in it, and time has been kind to him. Very kind.) The rant comes from the disclaimer. Pat Robertson's 700 Club comes on directly before this show and is followed by a disclaimer that "The preceding CBN telecast does not reflect the views of ABC Family." The show that follows is the above mentioned teenager show about a pregnant teen. I have read online that the disclaimer has to do with Robertson calling for the assassination of Hugo Chavez, but how would any average TV watcher know that? What it says in actual language is, "We don't approve of the Christian show, but the one about teenagers who engage in premarital sex and reproduce like bunnies is okey-dokey." Because of this NONSENSE, I am calling out Disney and, MOUSE, YOU ARE ON NOTICE...again.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Today's nonsense

So, today I enter the blogging world. I hope to use this as a place to keep family & friends up to date on the comings and of the goings of the Lawson Clan. I will also, probably more often than not use this for "Rant of the Day," "You're on Notice," and "Good Job."You know those things you need to say, but no-one cares to hear. Yeah, that. Who knows, I might also learn how to post pictures.
Today's nonsense is at an all time low because our source of most nonsense (teenage girl) is serving the Lord in New Orleans. It was weird to drop her off for a trip with a youth group in which only 3 months ago, I was deeply entrenched. What made it weird was that I only knew 4 parents and only 2 that were going on the trip. I'm so glad that there are adults that have stepped in to fill the gap, but it broke my heart to feel so out of place, to introduce myself to the new youth "guy" and he had no idea who I was or who my child was. He's new, so I'm giving him time.
On the new church search front, I'm struggling. Terry & Tyler have found a church they love, but I am hesitant to trust. If you have any idea how to become trusting, I'd love to hear it. I need to move on. Unfortunately, I am today's nonsense.
Today's "Good Job" goes to Ashley who has spent the summer learning to stand up not only for herself, bit also for the "least of these." I am so proud of her for speaking up when she needed to. She also earned the money for her Mission Trip the hard way. That's right, WORK! She may have even broken a sweat, but I'm not sure.
I am calling out "Outlook Express/" They are ON NOTICE!! For some reason, either Mr. Outlook or Mrs. Express hates me and refuses to find a connection...but only for me. They love Terry and deliver his email lickety-split. Not Cool. You are officially ON NOTICE, Outlook Express.