Sports...Church...Sports...WHY?

My poor blog! It must be wondering where I've gone. Well I'm here. Like Winnie-the Pooh, I've just been thinking in my thinking spot. I asked on my Twitter page for some ideas because I was plum out of ideas and got a few good suggestions. The first one is probably not going to go the way you're expecting, but what can I say...it's what's on my heart.

The idea was to write about fanatical sports parents. I'm sure it was to put my usual sarcastic/humorous/ tell-it-like-it-is spin on it....but I can't. I'm sure you'll understand why by the end. I'm going to preach instead. (Yeah...what's new?) Besides parents know if they are behaving badly. They're ON NOTICE!! You can tell them I said so.

*Disclaimer: I'm using the example of sports below, but it is just the word I'm using for anything that interferes with the time you would spend at Church and with your Church family or your time with Christ.*

I noticed a trend when I used to teach in Children's ministries at church and it was even more pronounced when I worked in youth. The trend? Sporting events were being held during the times that used to be reserved for families to attend church. Back in my day, Wednesday evenings and Sundays in entirety were off limits. But not anymore. So attendance at church was dependent on sports. I didn't understand because I have different rules here at Casa Lawson. My children played sports for a while, soccer and softball, and Ashley went to Nationals for Tumble & Trampoline but we wouldn't put either a game or a practice in front of church. I just wouldn't budge and it was respected every time and many parents thanked me for having that boundary so they didn't have to worry about making tough decisions.

In my Bible Study classes it was a topic that was often discussed and moms would tell me that the kids wouldn't always get to play sports, but they would always be able to go to Church. God would still be there, right? Besides...little Joey/Judy/ is a natural and wayyy more talented than your average bear and is going to go pro for sure and at the minimum is going to get a fabulous scholarship. Boy am I old fashioned. They felt they had taught their kids to love Jesus and that love wasn't dependent on Church attendance. True. I give them that. I would give them some scripture :"Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Hebrews 10:25 * Crickets. Nothing! No one got it. So eventually I let it go. I try not to judge and I'm not raising their kids. It's really not my business, I told myself. I regret it. (Side note: Ashley got a fabulous scholarship. Not for her fabulous athletic talent, but for being a ...SCHOLAR. That's right. She did most of her homework. Just saying.)

Now if asked that same question, I would still go back to the Word, but I would also tell this story. This is not one Mom or one child, but I assure you it is a compilation of several conversations I've had with several moms who I believe would share this with you if they could. Like a novelist sometimes does, I'm molding them into one "character" for the sake of anonymity and timeliness. I wouldn't dare tell their private stories, they aren't mine to tell but I will share a bit of what haunts them with you. Let's call her, "Jane."

What is haunting Jane? The loss of a child. By the child's own hand. You understand what I'm saying. The worst thing you can imagine, these moms have walked through and come out on the other side, broken, scarred, wounded, changed and they are ferocious survivors but with a few regrets. Of course Jane is in no way to blame. Jane and Joe loved this child passionately and gave her everything. They gave the child boundaries and rules and chores and gifts and family and everything else a child needs. They took the child to church until sports or some other hobby/passion intervened. Then it always seemed there would be time later. This was not a child lacking for anything. Did people miss some clues? Probably but that isn't relevant to the story. What is relevant is this? Ask yourself: Who are the closest people to you child? Who are the most influential people in your child's life? What is your child learning is the most important thing in life TO YOU? If your child is struggling, who will he/she go to? Will they give godly advice or the advice of the world? Will they call you or decide to follow a child's wishes? Do they love your child like Jesus? Does your child have Christian friends? Be honest...are they really Christians or just say they are?

Almost without exception, Jane's kiddo was surrounded with people with the same interests into the same stuff, but not Christian friends. They were very serious about getting recruited and getting scholarships and going faster and pushing harder and being the best until the child cracked under whatever pressures children crack under breaking wide open the hearts of those who love them. I'm sure there were many other pressures and the sport or hobby in and of itself isn't to blame at all. The above questions though shine a light.

Could the child talk to a Christian Mom or friend, how about a Pastor or Youth Minister? Was there a previous relationship that would make the child feel safe and welcome to have such a conversation? Would they have understood what was going on? During my tenure working with youth girls, I can think of at least 5 who came to me with suicidal issues. The first one took me off guard so I passed it on to the youth minister and hoped he would handle it. He didn't, but the child took my advice and talked to her mom. After that, I have a no tolerance policy. I'll go with you, but we're going to talk to your parents and we're going to be sure they understand. Jane still loses sleep and she's wracked with questions she won't get answers to on this side of Heaven. Her heart will never be whole. Her family will never be complete again and she is left with a question in her heart that she dares not utter, "Did my child ever really truly know Jesus. Did she really put her faith in Him?" Because she can't remember the last time the child mentioned Jesus. She can't remember the last time they made that simple thing we call Church a priority. They meant to. They had good intentions.

If you don't have a Church home, I'd love to invite you to mine. One of the most important things to us (aside from doctrinal issues of course...you know me) was to be sure our child was loved and could be comfortable with the leadership as well as make sure there were other parents who would love my child and give him GODLY advice should he need it. If he's in a crisis, I know his youth minister will be there for him at 3:30 am if he doesn't feel he can call on me. I know his pastor would do the same. His friends aren't all Christian but his best friends are and if something is amiss, I know their parents are watching out for him and I'm doing the same for them. We aren't playing! I'd rather be wrong and hated than keep my mouth shut and lose one more child. I hope I articulated this well. I hope you can see how such a simple thing can have such eternal consequences. The fact that God said it should be enough for us but let's be honest. Sometimes we need a reminder of why He said some of the things He said.

Please don't think I'm holding either myself or my children up an an example of perfection. I'll have to tell the truth and shame the Devil...we're far from it! I only used our rules because they're the ones I'm familiar with. I'd love to hear your feedback. Do you agree or disagree? Do you also have a story to tell?

Let's share

New "share" button, so feel free to browse the archives and "share." If you "share" a poorly written one, just say it was written by "anonymous." :-)

Don't want to even smell of smoke

A few years ago, I had the privilege of leading a group of women in Beth Moore's study "Daniel." I never imagined that years later one of her lessons plus some words to a young preacher from the Word would speak very personally to my life. I'm going to share a teeny bit of my real life with the hopes it speaks to you. I hope that if you are at the bottom you can know that there have been many on the path before you and we've made it, in Christ. Praise Jesus! I entered 2008 with a life-long, genuine, mature faith. I'm walking in 2010 with a refined faith. Refining is hard, no joke, but I believe it's better.

I have an unreasonable love for God's Church. I say unreasonable, not because we shouldn't love the Church, but because I've seen so many things happen there that I've often wondered why that love hasn't faded. I realized a long time ago that this love is a gift from God to help equip me for my calling. I felt sincerely called to minister to women particularly in the Church, but of course anywhere else needed. In 2008, I purposed to set about building my "ministry resume" in preparation to enter into a volunteer ministry position whenever He said, "now!" Even with all that I've walked through, I am so much more sure of His love for us.

I've had a mostly blessed life. There have been tragedies but I have always looked at them through my God colored glasses and with my sense of humor. In the past, even in the roughest times, I knew that God was going to work it all out for good. He made the promise in Romans 8:28. "For we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Cool. That's me. Then a series of events happened that would challenge my faith. I used to joke and say that if Satan wasn't messing with me I must not be accomplishing much for the kingdom. I won't say that lightly ever again.

This time last year, I found myself in a place where, for the first time in my life, I felt useless to the Kingdom and well...just generally useless. I was in a church that had no need for my gifts. I was supposed to be building my "ministry resume" and I found instead that I simply didn't fit. It was hard on my self-esteem but I told myself God was working and I pushed it to the bottom of my heart and told myself to get over my little hurt feelings. It's good to learn to be a follower and learn from other people so I set about to do just that. Then summer rolled around and tragedy struck, and struck, and struck and kept on striking. I felt as though the rug had been jerked out from under me. Most of these things that happened were personal , many were things that happened to other people and I was collateral damage, but a few Church related. I won't get into specifics, because I can't think how it would lift up the name of Jesus. I couldn't walk into a church without bursting into tears...big problem. If you know me, you know I don't cry in public. Ever. Didn't even know it was possible. I couldn't go anywhere, couldn't do anything, couldn't read my Bible and my prayers were all yell-y. (Serious, I wondered if God was going to smite me just to SHUT ME UP!) I needed help, and because of the circumstances, I had almost nowhere to turn. What I did have was a Comforter sent to me by my God, who promised never to leave me nor forsake me. That's no small thing.

I've always taught people that it's OK to be angry with God as long as you are moving toward Him. I yelled, screamed, blamed, cried, threw stuff and every tantrum an adult can throw, I threw it at God. I never for one minute doubted His love for me, but I didn't like Him at all. I felt like a runaway three year old. He has always been "home base" for me. I've never had to know how to get "home", He's always been there. So like that three year old, when I found myself "lost," I didn't know how to get home because I'd never left before. I'd never wrestled with the God who let bad things happen to those He loves passionately. Intellectually, I understood it. It's not all about me. I get my one piece of the puzzle, but I can't see the whole picture. Suddenly, I was wrestling with some big things. Here are just a few of the things I wrestled with: How can I love and serve a God who...
1) Lets Christians forget they are people and He is God
2) Lets children harm themselves
3) Let children be harmed
4) Lets heinous people into heaven if they repent ..and the big one
5)How can I love and serve a God who would die for murders and pedophiles and evil people and love them as He loves me??? I wasn't sure I cared to share Heaven with "those people."

One day, I looked over and saw "Old Faithful." (My main Bible.) It hadn't been cracked in months. So I opened it and set about reading the love letter written to me from my Father. I won't lie and tell you rainbows popped up over my head, birds sat on my shoulders to sing, small woodland creatures made me a new knock-off couture wardrobe and the world suddenly made sense... but after a lifetime of studying the Word, it was a healing balm. I was reminded that He will NEVER leave me nor forsake me, that if someone touches me they have touched the apple of His eye, that He knows His plans for me and they are for my good and not my harm. It reminded me that Paul had a thorn in his side that was never removed, that Jesus mourns when bad things happen to us and He is always near. I was reminded that the Book Of Job was there for a reason and even when it seemed he was deserted, he wasn't. Then I was reminded of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. Here's where it gets good!

They were tossed into a literal fire and didn't burn! Not only that, but SOMEONE was in that fire with them hanging out and walking around. They told Nebuchadnezzar before he tossed them in, "If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and He will rescue us from your hand, O King. BUT EVEN IF HE DOES NOT, we want you to know, O King, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." (Daniel 3:17-18) To his face! I determined that this was going to be me. I could fall down, crack and be broken by the gods of this world, or I could trust God to somehow deliver me. I decided to trust that my bonds would be burned, but only those things that were bondage and nothing else! He would be there hanging out with me too. I decided to trust Him to deliver me. He loves me as much as he loved them. How fab is that?

Here's how Beth describes the situation. We're all going to the furnace at some point in our lives, be it tragedy, trials or illness, and as Christians, we will be delivered. There are 3 possible ways we can be delivered.

1) We can be delivered FROM the fire. Meaning God just drives our bus around the whole thing and we never have to be in it. This is often how I'm delivered, but not this time. That ship had sailed.
2) We can be delivered BY the fire. Meaning it may literally take our earthly life and put us face to face with the Father. There were days I thought this might be the one, but it was not to be.
3) We can be delivered THROUGH the fire. Meaning, we will go into the fire, but we will come out the other side. HE will be there with us. This is where I am. Praise Jesus.

Here's my favorite part of the Shadrach & friends story. Neb sees them walking around in there and yells at them to come out. Their restraints had been burned off, but their clothes were not burned, nor a single hair on either of their heads singed. And here's the good part..."There was no smell of fire on them!!!" (Daniel 3:26-27.)

Praise Jesus for the fire. Fire refines. It purifies and allows things to be shaped. It is my sincere prayer that from now on, I don't even smell a teeny bit like smoke. I hope I smell like the refreshing fragrance of Jesus...with a little Oscar De La Renta tossed on top.

After everything, I can say that "I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I've committed unto Him against that day." I leave you with these verses from 2 Timothy. I almost made them a whole separate post, but it all goes together. Old Testament and New...Old Donna and new, refined Donna. These verses are my living testimony right now. Today.
Maybe you should consider making them yours.
"So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or about me His prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God who has saved us and called us to a holy life-not because of anything we have done but because of His own purpose and grace. This grace was given us before the beginning of time, but has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Jesus Christ, who has destroyed death and brought life and immortality to life through the gospel. And of this gospel, I was appointed a herald, an apostle and a teacher. That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed and am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him for that day. 2 Timothy 8-12

That which came before

I have been blessed with two truly amazing kids. Ashley is all about the here and now and is always stylish and current. Tyler has an interest in those things that came before him as well as things current. He knows more about 80s rock than I do and his whole personality gives off one of those "wise beyond his years" kind of vibe. Lately he's been wearing Terry's leather(y) jacket circa 1984 or so. It's old, tired, out of date looking and recently suffered a mortal wound (thank God.) I hate that jacket. I didn't like it back when it was being worn by Terry and it hasn't gotten cuter with age. However, it seems boys aren't concerned with cute. Tyler loves it because it belonged to Dad and Dad is the coolest, in his eyes. He's right.

Tyler and I have developed a habit of watching two shows on The History Channel, "Pawn Stars" and "American Pickers." They get some cool stuff in that pawn shop and the "pickers" find some cool stuff picking through other people's junk. One episode had the pickers finding an old leather jacket from the 40s or so in an old barn that was totally cool looking. I told Tyler, "Now, that's how you wear a leather jacket." So we decided to set about seeing if we could find a bomber jacket from the 40s. We found one from 1942 that looked like it had lived a good life and ordered it. It just came in the mail and it's totally cool. I'm not a fan of "used" clothing, but I've found myself day-dreaming a lot about that bomber jacket and 1942.

In November of 1941 my Daddy was born, in March of 1942 my Mom was born. The Greatest Generation was fighting WWII. Some areas of the country were still dealing with The Great Depression. My GRANDMOTHERS were 32 and 22. My 32 year old grandmother didn't marry until she was 29 and didn't have a baby until she was 32, which was almost scandalous. She was a firecracker her whole life and my very best friend.

I wonder about the previous owner of the jacket, T. Plier on Cecil Street. Who was he? Where did he wear his jacket? Was he a farmer, like much of my family? Did he work in a factory? Was he a poor man and this "steerhide jacket" a luxury or was he affluent? Maybe steerhide was affordable in 1942. Was he a cool woman who didn't care that it was a man's jacket? Did he fight to keep my son, who would eventually attain his jacket free? Was he a traveling preacher who took the Word of God to the rural areas of our great country? Was the "bomber" jacket ever worn to "bomb" something? Probably not, it wasn't military issue,but I am overwhelmed today by a sense of thankfulness for those who came before me and kept my country safe for me. Those who fought abroad and those who fought in Washington. Those who protected our borders and our constitution. Those who protected my right to worship and speak freely. I hope we don't blow it for those who are coming behind us. It's a great legacy we carry.

(The top picture is the jacket he liked. the picture on the left is Tyler's new, old jacket. Close, huh?)

Grace and Truth to You: A Word of Caution from the Prince of Preachers

First, I added a picture...pretty proud of it. Second, I stole this from the blog of Wade Burleson...a Southern Baptist Calvinist Pastor. His blog is Grace and Truth to You: http://kerussocharis.blogspot.com.

A Word of Caution from the Prince of Preachers: "'Watch and pray, as a Christian church, each one of you as members of it, that we may not be allowed to flatter ourselves with a nominal increase, unless it be a real increase from God, for ‘what is the chaff to the wheat?’ Suppose the report should be that there are so many added to the church, but suppose that they are not added to the Lord now, nor found in Christ hereafter? We have done these people serious damage by, as it were, endorsing their pretensions to Christianity when they have no real claim to it. We may have helped their delusion, we may have rocked the cradle of delusive slumber into which they have fallen, and out of which they will never wake until they open their eyes in hell. ‘What is the chaff to the wheat?’ I wish that such a text as this would go whistling through some of the churches! I would like to hear of its being preached from every pulpit in London, and I would pray the Holy Spirit to apply it to the conscience of every hearer. Your admission into the church by infant sprinkling, or by confirmation, or by the right hand of fellowship, or by believers’ immersion, all go for nothing unless you have been admitted into union with Christ. Your sitting at the Lord’s table; coming often to holy communion; being found regularly occupying your place in public worship; joining in the solemn hymn; bending with others in earnest prayers—these things are all nothing, and less than nothing and mockery, unless your heart has been renewed. Unless you have the Spirit of Christ you are none of his. ‘Ye must be born again.’'

C.H. Spurgeon
January 17, 1867, Sermon No. 862"

On Notice BHO!!

Dear BHO,
You're on notice...again. You know why. That speech was offensive.We needed a strong leader. We got Joey Tribiani giving a speech..."How YOU doing???" I would like to remind you that the Medal of Honor is a military award, while the Medal of Freedom is a civilian award. The shout out guy, who you called a Medal of Honor winner, was a Medal of Freedom winner. The award was given....wait for it, you're going to love this one BHO...BY YOU!

I am happy that you've warned us not to "jump to conclusions." I bet the police officer in the Gates scandal wished you knew that sentence a few months ago. I'll not jump to conclusions if you won't. Promise.

So once again, I must point out that Mr. Perfect did not write this post, just in case your administration has decided to hijack bloggers' free speech rights...If you're going to lock me up, you better get me a cute designer jumpsuit or I won't go nicely or quietly. Let's be honest, I don't go anywhere quietly.

Cant sleep.

Today started out wonderfully. Then it went awry. I am not a fan of awry.

If you read my blog, you've noticed a turn in the tone. I used to be funny and my goal was simply to keep family and friends updated on the Lawson's and maybe make you smile. Then there came a time where I fell into a spiritual funk. I haven't tried to hide it from you or to be fake. I'm tired of fake happy Christians who never have a trouble, or sin, or hit a bump in the road. I LOVE real happy Christians. This last 8 months has been a very trying time in our lives. We've hit some bumps in the road, had to make some tough decisions and we've had to take a few stands. Mr.Perfect gets cranky when he has to take a stand. We've watched several dear friends have to deal with very difficult circumstances. YUK!

So I'm posting this and hoping you will hear my heart. I have many dear friends who are in pain. I have many dear friends who are broken and bleeding and are out of strength. I have many dear friends who are confused and disillusioned. There are also entire bodies of Christ bleeding and they don't know what to do. This is always true, but when it's close to home, it's a bit of a shock. You may very well be one of these precious loved ones. If you think it's you, you may very well be one of them.

So I'm posting this here and, believers, I'm asking you to lift up some godly people in prayer. We are people who desperately need peace, wisdom, and to know how to handle ungodly things in a godly manner. I love that God doesn't require us to know all the details to lift one another up. I won't go into details because I don't want to cause unnecessary hurt to the beautiful name of Christ and I hope someday to look back on this post and be unable to remember why I posted it.

You know I love to pray for you too. Feel free to leave your prayer requests here. This is not the time to discuss anything negative you feel about the Church, I have plenty of other posts where you can do that. This is not the time to bash Christians or anyone else for that manner. I'm just asking you from my heart to pray. I'm asking you to take on the pain of someone else for a brief while and bring it to the Father. Don't keep it, that wouldn't be helpful. We are the universal "Church" and I believe we are one body. We'd love to hear from you if you are praying with us. I'm growing weary.

*If you are wondering where's the funny, ranty Donna we love, go down to the earliest posts. They all need to be edited and rewritten but you might get a chuckle.*

Blatantly stolen from the imonk...

Imonk posted this on his twitter. I've spent the last year and a half in this church. There's wisdom here.

"Churches that announce Satan hates them and God really likes everything they do = Humility Fail"

Second verse, same as the first

I guess it's time to dust off the old "Rules for Church Visitation" and put them into play...again. I've always wondered how people could "church hop." Now I know. I honestly have no desire to step a toe into a church for a good long while. However, I'm going to do as I've always advised others and go...because The Word says to (kindof.) I'm hoping being obedient will bring back my spark and my fervor for the Lord and His Word.

Things that make you go hmmmmm

I came across this quote today and it struck me. I thought I'd share it with you and see what you think:

"With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion." - Steven Weinberg