Monday, March 9, 2009

If you miss the rant-y Donna, you'll love this!

I haven't had a "Rant of the Day" post in quite some time. I've been trying to be a kinder gentler Donna, but guess what? I hate kinder, gentler Donna. She's not really her head, and nobody knows what to do with gentler Donna. So, she's out and rant-y Donna is back. I know a few of you have missed me.

Rant of the Day 1: From David Wilkerson's post:

If you think that God has given you inside information on the end of the world, please smack yourself. If you have several times in the past made the same declaration and put a (wrong) date on it, please check in at "False Teachers Anonymous" and be happy we didn't stone you. If you don't have a basic understanding of scripture, please don't speak for God. Matthew 24: 36 says, "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father." And church, let's stop bowing down in front of every wacko who proclaims himself a modern day prophet. It makes us look like a bunch of ignorant, stupid people. Then we wonder why they don't want our Jesus. Seriously, we should all use some discernment. We live in a wonderful, blessed country. The poorest person in America is prosperous compared to most of the world. However, I wonder what Christians in China, N. Korea or other countries where the church is seriously persecuted think when we declare that if something bad happens in America, it's the end of the world. Come on. If you believe this, you need to go down the hall to "I'm an Ignorant, Stupid Sheep Anonymous."

Rant of the Day 2:

Dr. Hagee speaks regarding his book and says his book, In Defense of Israel, will prove that "Jesus did not come to Earth to be the Messiah," (20 seconds in) and that "...since Jesus refused by word and deed to claim to be the Messiah how can the Jews be blamed for rejecting what was never offered?" (32 seconds in).

Edit: The above video was removed by Hagee so here it is again:

This guy has been making me crazy for years. Mostly because while he is a Word/ Faith teacher and teaches a prosperity doctrine, you have to listen for a while to hear it. He's sneaky. His website seems to say that he holds to the "essentials"of the Christian faith, yet when my father was dying from cancer, someone gave him a tape where Hagee proclaimed that if you were sick it was because of your lack of faith or unrepentant sin. Period. THE ONLY REASON PEOPLE ARE EITHER ILL OR POOR. Now, he is coming out and saying that Jesus didn't come to be the Messiah, that he REFUSED to be Messiah and the Jews will be saved another way. John 14:6 says "Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." No man means no man. Shame on you John Hagee. You go on and check in at "False Preachers Anonymous."

Rant of the Day 3: If your name is Benny Hinn, if you use the term "seed-faith offering" or if you offer to send either: a) salt pouch, b) anointed cloth, c) Jerusalem candlesticks, d)"I'm a fool who was parted from his money" toe ring (OK, I made that one up), etc. in exchange for my "partnership," please smack yourself. I've decided that "seed-faith" is a term used only by false teachers. You have a reservation at "False Teachers Anonymous." Check in ASAP.

Rant of the Day 4: If you have a show on either TBN, CBN or almost any network that calls itself "Christian," please sit down and consider that you are a bit of the problem. Not too long ago, TBN and the like only showed "Name-it and Claim-it, Blab-it and Grab-it" preachers. Now, in an effort to give a little diversity, you can catch some old Billy Graham Crusades and some other mainstream teachers. I've even seen Beth Moore on the schedule. I wonder how many people tuned in to catch the (NOT WORD/FAITH PREACHER) Rev. Graham and stayed for all the false teachers to follow. Either way, I need the people behind those two networks (Paul & Jan Crouch and Pat Robertson) devoted to false doctrine masquerading as "evangelistic" doctrine, to both smack themselves and guessed it...slide it on into "False Teachers Anonymous."

Now, on to other serious business. I regretfully have to put my right eyelid ON NOTICE! for aging faster and drooping farther than my better behaving left eyelid. This is beginning to give me the appearance of a stroke victim and is freaking out my mother who is sure I've had an "incident." I'm telling you, either snap back or I will, WILL introduce you to a lovely plastic surgeon who will handle that for the both of us. However, the cost will make Mr. Perfect's head blow off and then I will be lonely and have to get a job. If I have to get a job because my eyelid couldn't snap back into place I will be cranky. SO until I re-achieve symmetry in eyelid-dom, you, right-eyelid are

1 comment:

Frank said...

There you are, Donna - I've missed you! :) And boy, did you come roaring back with this one - well said!