To know and follow hard after you

This song has been on my mind this week. I've been singing it in my head constantly. This is where I'm currently residing.

Pure and Holy Passion

Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You

To know and follow hard after you
To grow as your disciple in your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you, my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you

The part that I love is "to know and follow hard after you." I'm finding the older I get, the less I want to sign up for hard. Someone recently asked me if I was interested in going and ministering to "hard" women. I thought, "I have babies to raise, hard women don't like me, my rims might get stolen, I'm pretty sure I have a hair appointment on "hard women" day, I'm not called to work with those women, I might break a heel, I don't know if my pedi can stand up to this ministry..." You name it, I thought of it. I would never admit it, but sometimes I want to "be acquainted and take the easy way...around you." Do this preach to anyone? It sure preaches to me.

I have somewhere along the line gotten spiritually soft. I'm not sure how it happened. Did a lack of discipline grow out of discontent? Did I let myself get distracted by things that aren't eternal and then just use that as an excuse for spiritual laziness? I've been in a desert of sorts. God and I have had communication problems. Now, I've known and loved Him as long as I can remember. I know He hasn't moved. His promises haven't changed. His Word hasn't changed. He still loves me passionately. His requirements of me haven't changed. He wants me to know and follow HARD after Him.

This might require me to go to a place I'm not comfortable. This might require me to let my children follow hard after Him. This will definitely require me to find the spiritual fire of my youth. I used to be the first in line for hard. So, I thank you for your prayers. I really was in a tough spiritual place, but now I'm ready to run after Him.

***Disclaimer: Due to the "assets" God gave to me and the physical limitations I'm still dealing with from November's fall, I will not literally be marathon running after Him...probably. (What, stop laughing. He could make me run, but only HE.)***