I woke up with the need to poke the bull today. Apparently I have no sense. I thought I wasn't going to wade in but I was wrong. Ha! If you aren't aware of the controversy, stop here and click the link way down below...then come back.
I am a fan of the show "Duck Dynasty." Before it came out, people who knew the Robertsons were all over the media talking about how embarrassed they were about how the area they lived in was going to be portrayed by the show and how mortifying the family is with those awful beards! Those same people have changed their tunes and most are probably getting DVD sets of the show for Christmas. I grew up not too far from where the duck people live. They feel like family to me. Though we are in different states, the culture is very similar, especially to the Southeast Texas culture in which I was raised. Rednecks are apparently a confusing people. We can love you and disagree with you. We value faith and family yet church better not run into the Cowboy game or the Christians will leave. Literally. Church will either be empty the opening morning of deer season or filled with camo clad worshipers on break between stand times but who still love Jesus. Rednecks like to shoot whatever is available with whatever is available. Shotgun, rifle, bow and arrow, whatever! They also love to fish. It's a little different, I get that. I also love it. So I'm not completely unbiased here. I know a lot of Phil Robertson types and I love every one. But I also love a lot of people I disagree with on these issues that have been presented by Phil and sometimes struggle to be who I am without compromise, yet never hurt another soul on purpose. It's a delicate balance even for me and I'm not a public person. I can't imagine if I was constantly on the record! Oh the horror! Some of my most interesting conversations have come from people on the other side of this particular issue from me. Respectful conversations where both sides seek to understand. We all want to be understood.
Here's how I see the whole Phil Robertson/ A&E controversy. I see it so very differently than most everyone else, of course. I like to be different whenever the opportunity presents itself. So let me start with:
1) Phil Robertson is a man of the Word and refuses to compromise his values or mind his tongue if he feels it compromises his morals. I know this isn't the first time he's said these things. We've all seen the videos circulate, as have the good people at A&E, who haven't said a word up until now, and the good people at GQ who knew what they were getting too. This is just the first time he said them to a mainstream reporter with an agenda who was licking his chops. Phil reminds me a lot of my daddy who was less preachy but certainly not too worried about what you thought of him. "What other people think of me is none of my business." If the whole world turned on him, his inclination would be to go hunting too. Actually, he probably wouldn't ever know. It's the culture in that area of the world. Phil is from my parents generation and they say what they mean and mean what they say. He has never pretended for a minute to be anything other than what he is...a sinner saved by grace and hoping for the salvation of everyone else but also a redneck man from the backwoods of Louisiana. From everything he has ever said, he hates no one. He grew up poor and has what most would consider to be a scandalous past himself. He is grateful that Jesus saved him from his own sinful ways and desires that for everyone. That is the ONLY reason he agreed to do the show in the first place. But for me, that really doesn't play much into the situation here.
2) A&E is a known entity with a particular audience. Willie is sharp. The Robertson's knew what they were getting into with A&E. They signed a deal with the devil. (It's a saying, y'all! I'm not saying that they are the actual devil! Y'all get it, right?) A few years ago, if you accidentally clicked on it after abut 10 pm, you learned that the "Arts" part of their name really meant "Porn." They were a liberal network with a liberal audience until "Duck Dynasty" came their way and gave them an unexpected surprise hit with a large conservative and evangelical audience for the show. That large conservative and evangelical audience only watches one show on their roster. The show has never been a good fit with their real audience, but the money flows and so A&E had choices to make. They chose the beards and all that came with them and somehow it's worked. They've chosen to look the other way for a long time now.
3) GQ is also a known entity with a known audience, and if Phil didn't know that, he would be stupid. He is not stupid. This reporter has a definite spin they should have expected. Phil knew who he was talking to and knew the potential consequences but he is a redneck Christians and didn't (probably still doesn't) care about the sure to come consequences. GQ knows the way the winds are blowing these days and what a perfect time to hoist the sails and build business on controversy. Here is the article. I would normally never post anything that uses this sort of language, but the spin here is clear and you can read what all of the hub-bub is about here:
Phil Robertson's GQ Article
Phil gave the interview and they edited it how they see fit. That's how it works, folks.
4) I'm pretty sure I read at the beginning of last season that it would be Phil's last by Phil's choosing. He doesn't enjoy it and just wants to hunt. So all the bluster about suspending his seems to be manufactured to appease their audience. It wasn't intended to offend the audience of Duck Dynasty. I suspect that was a surprise. A&E probably doesn't know there are BUNCHES of rednecks just like the Robertsons and they probably didn't take into account that people of Robertson's faith would revolt. Their headquarters are in New York City and most people there don't understand a whit about a backwoods redneck...except my one Texas friend who lives there...love you.
Conclusion:
1) Phil Robertson had the right to say what he said and so he said it...knowing the deal with the devil they had signed with A&E. He flat out said what he felt he had to say and doesn't care what we think. He is a conservative Christian, and he felt compelled to use the platform given to him by GQ to say what he needed to say. He was allowed to say it. He said it as a private person as was his right. They have stated all along that A&E made no contractual "behavior" requirements of them so he didn't break any contracts by speaking.
5) A&E has the right to act as they wish. They are not the government. They are not stomping on his constitutional rights, nor did GQ. No one shut up Phil Robertson.
7) GLAAD and anyone else had the right to not like and it and make a stink. This is America.
8) I am an American and I have the right to respond as I see fit. My rights are still intact too. I have the right to agree or disagree. I can yell my head off on Facebook. I have the right to go onto this forum and write anything I want. I can choose not to watch the network, the show or anything else. No one has shut me up either. Many have tried and failed...but that's not relevant to this post.
9) I see all of this as OK. All of it. It seems to me that everyone has acted within their rights. That's what I love about my country. Yes, Christians feel like the world would like them to just shut up these days. But we don't have to. Because we are still protected. Many feel those rights are being eroded but as of today...for this controversy...everyone was protected. Let's be honest here, a lot of Christians would like to shut up people that espouse values they believe to be wrong or sinful. But that isn't going to happen either. I may disagree with those who differ from me, but I cherish our right to disagree. I love America. This too, shall pass.
Now to the real issue I have here, the flip floppers! You all are ON NOTICE. You can't be embarrassed by the beards one minute and then call them family the next.
Oh wait, you can. That's how we roll down here. My bad.
I think it's time to get back to the REAL issue at hand...the Merry Christmas/ Happy Holidays Infringement of 2013. I find it ridiculous to ban the actual people/ employees selling Christmas trees and Christmas ornaments from saying "Merry Christmas" yet I have never been offended by a PERSON telling me "Happy Holidays." They are wishing me well. I get it. I wish it were your choice of what you say or don't say. But anytime someone is kind to me, I love it. Because sometimes....
OK, Fire away! I'd love to hear your thoughts. Really.
Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Scripture Shaming Nonsense
Christians. we've all been there. We've somehow found ourselves on the wrong side of Sister Bertha Better Than You or Brother Buster Better Sinner. Sometimes it's because you have offended one of them and sometimes because they don't like you. But rest assured, if you have not yet been a victim of this phenomenon, it's coming. "What is it," you ask?
SCRIPTURE SHAMING!!
SCRIPTURE SHAMING!!
This is the act of tossing out a scripture as though it were a grenade and hoping for some damage, or aiming it at the heart of one shameful sinner as though you were a sharp shooter. This newly connected world we live in makes it so much easier. In ye olden days, the shamer would have to come to you house and yell it at your door from the yard or go to the trouble to write it down and waste a stamp.
The best scripture shamers I've encountered are preachers. They can be the best and most skilled but certainly they are not the only scripture shamers. I had one whose sermon every week was personalized to some shameful sinner in the congregation. I had to march out in anger more times than I can count. I was always tempted to grab my Moses robe and beard and march down the aisle singing "let my people go..." But it's HARD to come back from a Masterful Moses Shaming, so I have not yet done it. Plus, I'm pretty sure that sort of behavior makes Jesus cry. Or at least consider it. Because Scripture doesn't say don't be angry. It says "in your anger, do not sin." (Ephesians 4:26) Pretty sure that would be sin. Almost positive.
So that leads me to social media. When you toss a scripture out generally, that YOU KNOW that SOMEONE ELSE WILL KNOW is aimed at their specific thing that is going on in their life, it is wrong. It's wrong enough when you do it face to face. But these days we like to go on our social media sites and throw them there. All of our friends will know we are very holy and love the Word, but the three or four we just hit with a grenade will be hurt. God doesn't want us to use His word to purposefully hurt one another. To convict, yes. But if you want to convict someone, that's not your job. It is the job of the Holy Spirit to convict. (John 16:8.)
The best scripture shamers I've encountered are preachers. They can be the best and most skilled but certainly they are not the only scripture shamers. I had one whose sermon every week was personalized to some shameful sinner in the congregation. I had to march out in anger more times than I can count. I was always tempted to grab my Moses robe and beard and march down the aisle singing "let my people go..." But it's HARD to come back from a Masterful Moses Shaming, so I have not yet done it. Plus, I'm pretty sure that sort of behavior makes Jesus cry. Or at least consider it. Because Scripture doesn't say don't be angry. It says "in your anger, do not sin." (Ephesians 4:26) Pretty sure that would be sin. Almost positive.
So that leads me to social media. When you toss a scripture out generally, that YOU KNOW that SOMEONE ELSE WILL KNOW is aimed at their specific thing that is going on in their life, it is wrong. It's wrong enough when you do it face to face. But these days we like to go on our social media sites and throw them there. All of our friends will know we are very holy and love the Word, but the three or four we just hit with a grenade will be hurt. God doesn't want us to use His word to purposefully hurt one another. To convict, yes. But if you want to convict someone, that's not your job. It is the job of the Holy Spirit to convict. (John 16:8.)
Rightfully used, the Word of God is a weapon all right, and many times (if not most) the Holy Spirit will use it to convict us of our sin. But it's not a grenade to be carelessly tossed to leave shrapnel and destruction everywhere. "For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." Hebrews 4:12. It is all you need and a sword is not a weapon of mass destruction it is a weapon for close up work.
I am a believer. If you are my brother or sister and you see me in sin, it is your job to help me see my error. "Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted." Galatians 6:1. Just remember, I am much less likely to listen to you if you shoot me in a drive-by or blow me up.
For the record, this post is not written to shame any scripture shamer, thereby making for a double shaming. That would be shameful. It's just a thing I've noticed on Twitter, Facebook and the like and today, I just had a chance to sit down and address it. To shame a shamer by shaming would be utter nonsense and I don't participate. I'm the Queen after all. I know better. If you feel led to post scripture on your personal page because it spoke to you and you think it would do so to others, please post it! Every time. But be sure your intentions are right.
LOVEY'ALLMEANIT!
For the record, this post is not written to shame any scripture shamer, thereby making for a double shaming. That would be shameful. It's just a thing I've noticed on Twitter, Facebook and the like and today, I just had a chance to sit down and address it. To shame a shamer by shaming would be utter nonsense and I don't participate. I'm the Queen after all. I know better. If you feel led to post scripture on your personal page because it spoke to you and you think it would do so to others, please post it! Every time. But be sure your intentions are right.
LOVEY'ALLMEANIT!
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
You Say Goodbye and I Say Hello. (How Donna Got Her Groove Back)
The summer of 2009 was the worst ever in the life of our family. My oldest, firstborn treasure had graduated from high school and an emptier nest was looming when all of a sudden the bottom fell out of life. (I've written about it here and that's all I have to say about it for now.) I had made my entire life parenting these kids and serving in my church and trying to be a good wife. I had loved and parented my children with all of my heart and now one was preparing to go and do the exact thing I had raised her to do...leave us. If you parent well, you parent yourself out of a job. What was I thinking!?! She was ready but none of us was sure if, when it came time to let her go whether I would really be able to do it or not. I had been involved in every area of both of their lives. We had raised them to be godly warrior attack sheep. We had passed to them our faith and they had made it their own. I taught them to do laundry and have kind hearts. But every mother has a fear section of her heart that we don't really talk about. What if these great kids were really just little con artists and would run wild like banshees the first opportunity they got? What if my babies harmed themselves or made poor decisions? Having children is a risk and hard on your heart. It's not for sissies or the faint of heart.
God and I had a lot of time to communicate that summer and so when it was time to take her off to college, I was able to get in the car, drive down and help move her into her dorm. We were so proud that neither of had a complete nervous breakdown. No tears (that anyone saw.) She was ready to fly! She jumped into college life like she was born to it. A few months in we had out first difficulty. We lost a family member that she loved so very much. I had to break the news to her and she was there and I was here. I had to do it over the phone. I couldn't hold her and cry with her and dry her tears. This is not how parenting is supposed to go. While that loss continues to be an only partially healed wound, I was reminded that God loves my child and has her wrapped up in His wings. He had surrounded her with a new godly family of kids there who helped her get through it when I could not. I grew stronger.
So what's a mom to do when she suddenly has time on her hands. My boy child was still in high school, but let's be honest y'all, girls take up wayyyyy more time and energy than boys. I have always served in Ministry to Women and God opened a door for me to step into the ministry He had been preparing me to do. I always felt I should wait until my babies were grown, and one was there and one was close. So I jumped in. Suddenly life became about everyone else. My time was filled up much more than before. My mind was engaged. I was spending a bit less time on the couch and doing the thing I love. Ministering to my sisters in Christ and leading or participating in Bible Study. Ashley was always surprised when she would call me and I had to return her call because I was busy. She had always come first and I was never too busy for her before! My baby girl would come home on occasion and my heart would soar! For that first semester her leaving to go back to college was bittersweet. I loved hearing about the goodly friends she made and the fun she was having. I thought it was so fun that she was the sweetheart for the music fraternity. I loved that she caught it when a local church did something crazy and she recognized the stink of it and called to ask me about it. I missed her so much and the silence here was deafening! I was used to a loud girl and chaos. My boy, who was a sophomore, is a musician but still manages to be very quiet. (Solution: Drums for Christmas for Tyler. For reals.)
But here's the good news. After a month home for Christmas, I was ready for her to go back and so was she. I loved having her home but letting her go was pretty easy. God had been slowly filling me up and holding me just like he promised and she had become a beautiful butterfly who didn't need us much. She had grown up into the beautiful woman of God we knew she would be. She was not just OK, she was thriving and I was serving and learning.
Then the summer of 2012 rolled around. NOT MY BABY BOY! He's all I've got left. I still haven't figured him all the way out so I can't be finished parenting him. I just don't think I will allow this to happen. I had seen so many signs that he was ready to go. He had participated in a mission trip with our church and his father and we had all gotten a glimpse of the mighty mountain of God he was becoming. He is quiet but mature and wise beyond his years. He was born a 40 year old man so he was ready. Responsible is this child's middle name. He had decided where he was going to college and done what he needed to do to have easy admission and so I had no choice but to let him go. He was ready to fly. It was hard. He had chosen to go to our alma mater, the University of Texas in Austin. It's a hard place to be a person of faith. But God has been working there and preparing for him. (That's right...I believe that all of the godly ground made in Austin has been laid just in preparation for my baby boy...and others of course. That's what I'm telling myself. In the last twenty something years, He has MOVED INTO Austin and claimed some serious ground. That was not true when we were there.) He found a great church with a great college ministry. He met with a man who mentored freshman boys. He had the opportunity to serve in leadership at the BSM and he got to go on a mission trip to Costa Rica. This boy walked into the ungodliest place in Texas and started ministry. Those of us here who poured into him are so proud. I was terrified that Austin would chew him up and spit him out. Nope. Not happening to God's quietest and gentlest warrior.
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The second child leaving is a teeny bit easier than the first, but the fact that he's the last sort of evens the pain of loss. I bounced back a little faster. I now had both children out of the house and I was still serving in a ministry that I loved. I won't lie though, if you enter ministry, you better buckle up. It won't always be pretty. But it WILL always be blessed, no matter how it feels. For the first time in my adult life, I had no babies in the house. No one here but my husband, Mr. Perfect, me and our ill and aging dogs. To be fair, they were the children's dogs and it seemed they decided to expire when their babies were grown. I clung to those dogs like a life raft. They represented so much to me. The childhood of my children and 11 years of great memories. I literally felt that I was breathing for them. A part time volunteer ministry takes time but not really all that much and I had a lot of free time to love on them. And as they faded, I found I missed my babies less and less. The babies, on the other hand were having a ball! They were thriving. They were happy. The world had not corrupted them. I was able to serve in the ministry I had been in many ways training for all my life. Life was going to be OK. But I was still spending most of my time on the couch...and it showed. (Still does. Working on that.)
In December, I got an "opportunity" to serve my community for the next 6 months. I couldn't turn it down. I was so excited I could barely contain myself until it began in January. I have spent so much time in the towns around where I live, I didn't know many people in my own town. Nor did I have any idea what we had going on. I spent the next 6 months serving with people who treated me with respect and dignity. I discovered that I still had a brain and it still functioned. If you've ever been a stay at home mom, you know it atrophies the brain. I began to learn of fun and sometimes educational events and opportunities in my own town. I also found that once again God had been looking out and preparing me. You see, a long time ago (1996) I learned about guardian-ad-litems from watching a TV show. I promised myself I would look into that when my babies were grown and I had the time. I felt it would be in the best interest of us all not to have my time split. But I am not really a kid person. I don't feel the need to hug and squeeze babies. I will walk into battle with the meanest adult, stand on stage and sing in front of anyone but 2 and 3 year olds terrify me! I wasn't sure it was going to be a fit. However, about 2003 I met a new friend that I loved instantly. She is an attorney-ad-litem and she is a WARRIOR for her clients but she doesn't feel the need to pinch cheeks either. Without words, she encouraged me gave me hope that maybe someone with my personality could still be useful there. In November of 2012, shortly after my son left for college, I told my husband it was time to look into it. Shortly after that I sent an email requesting information. I received no reply. OK Lord, we will wait. On my 6 month team, I discovered two wonderful ladies who were volunteers with CASA. CASA stands for Court Appointed Special Advocates. They are guardian ad litems. God had placed these two in a room with me once a week for six months and had given me the opportunity to ask all my questions to several of their best and brightest. But please catch this, it was MONTHS AFTER I had decided to jump in. He knew they were coming for me. Months after my original inquiry I received an apology from their headquarters stating they had had email issues. SO I rolled the ball. I went through the training and I received my first case and my second one. I absolutely love this organization and I believe in it. I believe it is the literal meaning of "true religion."
James 1:27 says "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world."
The children represented by CASA are not all orphans but they were all living in terrible conditions. I can stand up for them and look out for their best interests. I also get to help their parents on the pathway to being better parents so maybe, just maybe their children can be best served in their own family. And I can minister in different way than I do in the church. It is stretching me.
About this same time I discovered Dr. Oz's Arthritis Cure. While it isn't a cure, it has given me a new lease on life. I have mostly pain free days most of the time.
With no children at home, vastly improved pain issues and a life full of service, I discovered the beauty of a life after babies. I no longer miss them terribly. Letting them go allowed me to step into the ministry God had waiting for me and allowed them to grow to maturity in His way. I've dedicated my life to serving in God's Church. I know He's called me to the Church. I have loved it and have been privileged to serve Him in Ministry to Women. I will always serve in that capacity in one way or another, I always have. My time in that particular church ministry has ended for now. I am grateful for lessons learned, some the easy way and some the hard way. (There are a few lessons I'm still working on being grateful for, but I'll get there.) I believe that God used that ministry to make huge differences in our church. I believed He used it as one mighty form of discipleship and I've been privileged to watch many women blossom with new understanding of His Word. I've cried with many of them during times of terrible pain and sadness and also times of great joy! I've watched Him step in when words failed me. I've watched the worst thing I could imagine happen to people. I've seen some fly and some fail in those difficulties. What a privilege to get to serve others in this way. For sure, its not for everyone. That's why they call it a "calling." There's an old seminary saying that applies here: "If you can do anything at all but preach boy, do that!" I really can't do anything other than minister to the wounded and hurting and make disciples. No matter what I intend to do, that's where I find myself.
So I once again have time on my hands. I'm excited to find ways to fill it. I'm excited to figure out where God is leading. I'm serving Him outside of the church and I will follow Him to the new ways to serve Him inside the Church too, if that's where He leads. I believe it will. It always has. But please know, there is life after children. I couldn't have imagined it 5 years ago. Now we can do anything we want. We can go to the movies on Tuesday evening...and sometimes do. Every Saturday night is date night no matter what the children are doing because they aren't here. That man I married still has it going on! We can get in the car and go should we desire. We can eat out a lot and still spend less money than home cooking for four. We can spoil our new puppies like crazy people. Who's here to tell on us? Our time is our own for the first time in 23 years. I had figured I would sit around and cry until the grand babies came but let's be honest, that's not my style. Ashley has graduated with honors and is beginning graduate school in a few days. My baby boy was home for the summer and just left to start his second (but technically junior) year. I couldn't be prouder but no longer is their life, my life. As it should be.
God and I had a lot of time to communicate that summer and so when it was time to take her off to college, I was able to get in the car, drive down and help move her into her dorm. We were so proud that neither of had a complete nervous breakdown. No tears (that anyone saw.) She was ready to fly! She jumped into college life like she was born to it. A few months in we had out first difficulty. We lost a family member that she loved so very much. I had to break the news to her and she was there and I was here. I had to do it over the phone. I couldn't hold her and cry with her and dry her tears. This is not how parenting is supposed to go. While that loss continues to be an only partially healed wound, I was reminded that God loves my child and has her wrapped up in His wings. He had surrounded her with a new godly family of kids there who helped her get through it when I could not. I grew stronger.
But here's the good news. After a month home for Christmas, I was ready for her to go back and so was she. I loved having her home but letting her go was pretty easy. God had been slowly filling me up and holding me just like he promised and she had become a beautiful butterfly who didn't need us much. She had grown up into the beautiful woman of God we knew she would be. She was not just OK, she was thriving and I was serving and learning.
Then the summer of 2012 rolled around. NOT MY BABY BOY! He's all I've got left. I still haven't figured him all the way out so I can't be finished parenting him. I just don't think I will allow this to happen. I had seen so many signs that he was ready to go. He had participated in a mission trip with our church and his father and we had all gotten a glimpse of the mighty mountain of God he was becoming. He is quiet but mature and wise beyond his years. He was born a 40 year old man so he was ready. Responsible is this child's middle name. He had decided where he was going to college and done what he needed to do to have easy admission and so I had no choice but to let him go. He was ready to fly. It was hard. He had chosen to go to our alma mater, the University of Texas in Austin. It's a hard place to be a person of faith. But God has been working there and preparing for him. (That's right...I believe that all of the godly ground made in Austin has been laid just in preparation for my baby boy...and others of course. That's what I'm telling myself. In the last twenty something years, He has MOVED INTO Austin and claimed some serious ground. That was not true when we were there.) He found a great church with a great college ministry. He met with a man who mentored freshman boys. He had the opportunity to serve in leadership at the BSM and he got to go on a mission trip to Costa Rica. This boy walked into the ungodliest place in Texas and started ministry. Those of us here who poured into him are so proud. I was terrified that Austin would chew him up and spit him out. Nope. Not happening to God's quietest and gentlest warrior.
.jpg)
The second child leaving is a teeny bit easier than the first, but the fact that he's the last sort of evens the pain of loss. I bounced back a little faster. I now had both children out of the house and I was still serving in a ministry that I loved. I won't lie though, if you enter ministry, you better buckle up. It won't always be pretty. But it WILL always be blessed, no matter how it feels. For the first time in my adult life, I had no babies in the house. No one here but my husband, Mr. Perfect, me and our ill and aging dogs. To be fair, they were the children's dogs and it seemed they decided to expire when their babies were grown. I clung to those dogs like a life raft. They represented so much to me. The childhood of my children and 11 years of great memories. I literally felt that I was breathing for them. A part time volunteer ministry takes time but not really all that much and I had a lot of free time to love on them. And as they faded, I found I missed my babies less and less. The babies, on the other hand were having a ball! They were thriving. They were happy. The world had not corrupted them. I was able to serve in the ministry I had been in many ways training for all my life. Life was going to be OK. But I was still spending most of my time on the couch...and it showed. (Still does. Working on that.)
In December, I got an "opportunity" to serve my community for the next 6 months. I couldn't turn it down. I was so excited I could barely contain myself until it began in January. I have spent so much time in the towns around where I live, I didn't know many people in my own town. Nor did I have any idea what we had going on. I spent the next 6 months serving with people who treated me with respect and dignity. I discovered that I still had a brain and it still functioned. If you've ever been a stay at home mom, you know it atrophies the brain. I began to learn of fun and sometimes educational events and opportunities in my own town. I also found that once again God had been looking out and preparing me. You see, a long time ago (1996) I learned about guardian-ad-litems from watching a TV show. I promised myself I would look into that when my babies were grown and I had the time. I felt it would be in the best interest of us all not to have my time split. But I am not really a kid person. I don't feel the need to hug and squeeze babies. I will walk into battle with the meanest adult, stand on stage and sing in front of anyone but 2 and 3 year olds terrify me! I wasn't sure it was going to be a fit. However, about 2003 I met a new friend that I loved instantly. She is an attorney-ad-litem and she is a WARRIOR for her clients but she doesn't feel the need to pinch cheeks either. Without words, she encouraged me gave me hope that maybe someone with my personality could still be useful there. In November of 2012, shortly after my son left for college, I told my husband it was time to look into it. Shortly after that I sent an email requesting information. I received no reply. OK Lord, we will wait. On my 6 month team, I discovered two wonderful ladies who were volunteers with CASA. CASA stands for Court Appointed Special Advocates. They are guardian ad litems. God had placed these two in a room with me once a week for six months and had given me the opportunity to ask all my questions to several of their best and brightest. But please catch this, it was MONTHS AFTER I had decided to jump in. He knew they were coming for me. Months after my original inquiry I received an apology from their headquarters stating they had had email issues. SO I rolled the ball. I went through the training and I received my first case and my second one. I absolutely love this organization and I believe in it. I believe it is the literal meaning of "true religion."
James 1:27 says "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world."
The children represented by CASA are not all orphans but they were all living in terrible conditions. I can stand up for them and look out for their best interests. I also get to help their parents on the pathway to being better parents so maybe, just maybe their children can be best served in their own family. And I can minister in different way than I do in the church. It is stretching me.
About this same time I discovered Dr. Oz's Arthritis Cure. While it isn't a cure, it has given me a new lease on life. I have mostly pain free days most of the time.
With no children at home, vastly improved pain issues and a life full of service, I discovered the beauty of a life after babies. I no longer miss them terribly. Letting them go allowed me to step into the ministry God had waiting for me and allowed them to grow to maturity in His way. I've dedicated my life to serving in God's Church. I know He's called me to the Church. I have loved it and have been privileged to serve Him in Ministry to Women. I will always serve in that capacity in one way or another, I always have. My time in that particular church ministry has ended for now. I am grateful for lessons learned, some the easy way and some the hard way. (There are a few lessons I'm still working on being grateful for, but I'll get there.) I believe that God used that ministry to make huge differences in our church. I believed He used it as one mighty form of discipleship and I've been privileged to watch many women blossom with new understanding of His Word. I've cried with many of them during times of terrible pain and sadness and also times of great joy! I've watched Him step in when words failed me. I've watched the worst thing I could imagine happen to people. I've seen some fly and some fail in those difficulties. What a privilege to get to serve others in this way. For sure, its not for everyone. That's why they call it a "calling." There's an old seminary saying that applies here: "If you can do anything at all but preach boy, do that!" I really can't do anything other than minister to the wounded and hurting and make disciples. No matter what I intend to do, that's where I find myself.
So I once again have time on my hands. I'm excited to find ways to fill it. I'm excited to figure out where God is leading. I'm serving Him outside of the church and I will follow Him to the new ways to serve Him inside the Church too, if that's where He leads. I believe it will. It always has. But please know, there is life after children. I couldn't have imagined it 5 years ago. Now we can do anything we want. We can go to the movies on Tuesday evening...and sometimes do. Every Saturday night is date night no matter what the children are doing because they aren't here. That man I married still has it going on! We can get in the car and go should we desire. We can eat out a lot and still spend less money than home cooking for four. We can spoil our new puppies like crazy people. Who's here to tell on us? Our time is our own for the first time in 23 years. I had figured I would sit around and cry until the grand babies came but let's be honest, that's not my style. Ashley has graduated with honors and is beginning graduate school in a few days. My baby boy was home for the summer and just left to start his second (but technically junior) year. I couldn't be prouder but no longer is their life, my life. As it should be.
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Still Putting Up With Nonsense
Wisdom from this old woman: Sometimes we are fickle, fickle people. Sometimes people won't like you. Sometimes you will spend years giving to people content to take. Sometimes you will listen to the troubles of people who are at the bottom of life till your ears bleed and when you try to give them words of life, they will slap you in the face. There will be times when you try to help and they will want not only what you gave but what you kept. There will be people who say things about you that aren't true. There will be times some of these people will try to destroy your character. But here's the deal. SO WHAT? You live your life for Christ. You comport yourself in such a manner that anyone who's paying attention will know that lies aren't the truth. You don't exist to please man. You will go crazy trying. You minister to "the least of these" because your Savior told you to do so, not for accolades here on Earth. When those who hurt you come running back for help that you are able to give, what should you do if you are hurt or tired or DONE? Help them anyway. Don't hold grudges. Let it go. Be generous and kind anyway. You will be taken advantage of again. So what. The blessing will still be the same. Jesus reminds me daily that it doesn't matter what I think of people. They are His and He loves them and so should I. Period
There does come a time when, the words of Matthew 10:14 come into play. Just be sure that the conviction comes from the right place. "And if anyone will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet when you leave that house or town. " I can only do that when I have peace. Until I have peace, I'm still there. Even if it hurts.
There does come a time when, the words of Matthew 10:14 come into play. Just be sure that the conviction comes from the right place. "And if anyone will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet when you leave that house or town. " I can only do that when I have peace. Until I have peace, I'm still there. Even if it hurts.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY 2013!!!
 |
| Happy 2013!! |
It's January 1st (or probably 2nd by the time I get this posted) and time to say hello to you guys. A very cool thing has been happening. The blog has developed quite an international following and I've been super curious who you all are. Lots of you in Russia, Israel and Italy. Several from Australia, Germany, Slovakia and the UK. Even more than a few from Canada, Vietnam, France, Ukraine and Poland, just to name a few. Of course I cherish and treasure you precious fellow Americans and I have an extra dash of "yee-haw" for my fellow Texans. If you have a few minutes, I'd love to hear from you. Introduce yourself. To help you know a little about me (if you haven't gleaned all of this by now) I'll give you a brief introduction.
(Waiting at the doctor's office. They love each other enough to sit through the nightmare of a waiting room.)
I've been leading the Women's Ministry at my church, Pin Oaks Christian Fellowship, in the small town of Anna, TX for the last 2 years, almost exactly to the day. I had no idea what that would look like when I said yes, but I love it! It's the hardest, most heartbreaking and most rewarding thing I've ever done. To follow your calling is not an easy path, but there is much peace in knowing you're following God's path for you. I get to go to Bible Study, talk to people about Jesus, be an un-official life coach and "go to lunch" or "coffee" and call it my "job." I don't even like coffee, but I am all about some hot chocolate!
I love Jesus with all of my heart. I'd love for you to have a personal relationship with my Savior, who not only died for my sin but for yours too. He is the son of God. He was crucified for our sin and raised from the dead three days later. That is the most amazing story every told. I'm constantly amazed at the depravity of humanity yet His love for us in never changing. We can never go too far. There is no sin too great for his forgiveness. No soul too sinful for salvation. So I'll leave you with this scripture from God's Word. I hope it speaks to you today. Now, who are you? Yes...I mean you. Leave me a comment. I look forward to it!
"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Ephesians 4: 16-18
Friday, March 26, 2010
Don't want to even smell of smoke
A few years ago, I had the privilege of leading a group of women in Beth Moore's study "Daniel." I never imagined that years later one of her lessons plus some words to a young preacher from the Word would speak very personally to my life. I'm going to share a teeny bit of my real life with the hopes it speaks to you. I hope that if you are at the bottom you can know that there have been many on the path before you and we've made it, in Christ. Praise Jesus! I entered 2008 with a life-long, genuine, mature faith. I'm walking in 2010 with a refined faith. Refining is hard, no joke, but I believe it's better.
I have an unreasonable love for God's Church. I say unreasonable, not because we shouldn't love the Church, but because I've seen so many things happen there that I've often wondered why that love hasn't faded. I realized a long time ago that this love is a gift from God to help equip me for my calling. I felt sincerely called to minister to women particularly in the Church, but of course anywhere else needed. In 2008, I purposed to set about building my "ministry resume" in preparation to enter into a volunteer ministry position whenever He said, "now!" Even with all that I've walked through, I am so much more sure of His love for us.
I've had a mostly blessed life. There have been tragedies but I have always looked at them through my God colored glasses and with my sense of humor. In the past, even in the roughest times, I knew that God was going to work it all out for good. He made the promise in Romans 8:28. "For we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Cool. That's me. Then a series of events happened that would challenge my faith. I used to joke and say that if Satan wasn't messing with me I must not be accomplishing much for the kingdom. I won't say that lightly ever again.
This time last year, I found myself in a place where, for the first time in my life, I felt useless to the Kingdom and well...just generally useless. I was in a church that had no need for my gifts. I was supposed to be building my "ministry resume" and I found instead that I simply didn't fit. It was hard on my self-esteem but I told myself God was working and I pushed it to the bottom of my heart and told myself to get over my little hurt feelings. It's good to learn to be a follower and learn from other people so I set about to do just that. Then summer rolled around and tragedy struck, and struck, and struck and kept on striking. I felt as though the rug had been jerked out from under me. Most of these things that happened were personal , many were things that happened to other people and I was collateral damage, but a few Church related. I won't get into specifics, because I can't think how it would lift up the name of Jesus. I couldn't walk into a church without bursting into tears...big problem. If you know me, you know I don't cry in public. Ever. Didn't even know it was possible. I couldn't go anywhere, couldn't do anything, couldn't read my Bible and my prayers were all yell-y. (Serious, I wondered if God was going to smite me just to SHUT ME UP!) I needed help, and because of the circumstances, I had almost nowhere to turn. What I did have was a Comforter sent to me by my God, who promised never to leave me nor forsake me. That's no small thing.
I've always taught people that it's OK to be angry with God as long as you are moving toward Him. I yelled, screamed, blamed, cried, threw stuff and every tantrum an adult can throw, I threw it at God. I never for one minute doubted His love for me, but I didn't like Him at all. I felt like a runaway three year old. He has always been "home base" for me. I've never had to know how to get "home", He's always been there. So like that three year old, when I found myself "lost," I didn't know how to get home because I'd never left before. I'd never wrestled with the God who let bad things happen to those He loves passionately. Intellectually, I understood it. It's not all about me. I get my one piece of the puzzle, but I can't see the whole picture. Suddenly, I was wrestling with some big things. Here are just a few of the things I wrestled with: How can I love and serve a God who...
1) Lets Christians forget they are people and He is God
2) Lets children harm themselves
3) Let children be harmed
4) Lets heinous people into heaven if they repent ..and the big one
5)How can I love and serve a God who would die for murders and pedophiles and evil people and love them as He loves me??? I wasn't sure I cared to share Heaven with "those people."
One day, I looked over and saw "Old Faithful." (My main Bible.) It hadn't been cracked in months. So I opened it and set about reading the love letter written to me from my Father. I won't lie and tell you rainbows popped up over my head, birds sat on my shoulders to sing, small woodland creatures made me a new knock-off couture wardrobe and the world suddenly made sense... but after a lifetime of studying the Word, it was a healing balm. I was reminded that He will NEVER leave me nor forsake me, that if someone touches me they have touched the apple of His eye, that He knows His plans for me and they are for my good and not my harm. It reminded me that Paul had a thorn in his side that was never removed, that Jesus mourns when bad things happen to us and He is always near. I was reminded that the Book Of Job was there for a reason and even when it seemed he was deserted, he wasn't. Then I was reminded of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. Here's where it gets good!
They were tossed into a literal fire and didn't burn! Not only that, but SOMEONE was in that fire with them hanging out and walking around. They told Nebuchadnezzar before he tossed them in, "If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and He will rescue us from your hand, O King. BUT EVEN IF HE DOES NOT, we want you to know, O King, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." (Daniel 3:17-18) To his face! I determined that this was going to be me. I could fall down, crack and be broken by the gods of this world, or I could trust God to somehow deliver me. I decided to trust that my bonds would be burned, but only those things that were bondage and nothing else! He would be there hanging out with me too. I decided to trust Him to deliver me. He loves me as much as he loved them. How fab is that?
Here's how Beth describes the situation. We're all going to the furnace at some point in our lives, be it tragedy, trials or illness, and as Christians, we will be delivered. There are 3 possible ways we can be delivered.
1) We can be delivered FROM the fire. Meaning God just drives our bus around the whole thing and we never have to be in it. This is often how I'm delivered, but not this time. That ship had sailed.
2) We can be delivered BY the fire. Meaning it may literally take our earthly life and put us face to face with the Father. There were days I thought this might be the one, but it was not to be.
3) We can be delivered THROUGH the fire. Meaning, we will go into the fire, but we will come out the other side. HE will be there with us. This is where I am. Praise Jesus.
Here's my favorite part of the Shadrach & friends story. Neb sees them walking around in there and yells at them to come out. Their restraints had been burned off, but their clothes were not burned, nor a single hair on either of their heads singed. And here's the good part..."There was no smell of fire on them!!!" (Daniel 3:26-27.)
Praise Jesus for the fire. Fire refines. It purifies and allows things to be shaped. It is my sincere prayer that from now on, I don't even smell a teeny bit like smoke. I hope I smell like the refreshing fragrance of Jesus...with a little Oscar De La Renta tossed on top.
After everything, I can say that "I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I've committed unto Him against that day." I leave you with these verses from 2 Timothy. I almost made them a whole separate post, but it all goes together. Old Testament and New...Old Donna and new, refined Donna. These verses are my living testimony right now. Today.
Maybe you should consider making them yours.
"So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or about me His prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God who has saved us and called us to a holy life-not because of anything we have done but because of His own purpose and grace. This grace was given us before the beginning of time, but has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Jesus Christ, who has destroyed death and brought life and immortality to life through the gospel. And of this gospel, I was appointed a herald, an apostle and a teacher. That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed and am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him for that day. 2 Timothy 8-12
I have an unreasonable love for God's Church. I say unreasonable, not because we shouldn't love the Church, but because I've seen so many things happen there that I've often wondered why that love hasn't faded. I realized a long time ago that this love is a gift from God to help equip me for my calling. I felt sincerely called to minister to women particularly in the Church, but of course anywhere else needed. In 2008, I purposed to set about building my "ministry resume" in preparation to enter into a volunteer ministry position whenever He said, "now!" Even with all that I've walked through, I am so much more sure of His love for us.
I've had a mostly blessed life. There have been tragedies but I have always looked at them through my God colored glasses and with my sense of humor. In the past, even in the roughest times, I knew that God was going to work it all out for good. He made the promise in Romans 8:28. "For we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Cool. That's me. Then a series of events happened that would challenge my faith. I used to joke and say that if Satan wasn't messing with me I must not be accomplishing much for the kingdom. I won't say that lightly ever again.
This time last year, I found myself in a place where, for the first time in my life, I felt useless to the Kingdom and well...just generally useless. I was in a church that had no need for my gifts. I was supposed to be building my "ministry resume" and I found instead that I simply didn't fit. It was hard on my self-esteem but I told myself God was working and I pushed it to the bottom of my heart and told myself to get over my little hurt feelings. It's good to learn to be a follower and learn from other people so I set about to do just that. Then summer rolled around and tragedy struck, and struck, and struck and kept on striking. I felt as though the rug had been jerked out from under me. Most of these things that happened were personal , many were things that happened to other people and I was collateral damage, but a few Church related. I won't get into specifics, because I can't think how it would lift up the name of Jesus. I couldn't walk into a church without bursting into tears...big problem. If you know me, you know I don't cry in public. Ever. Didn't even know it was possible. I couldn't go anywhere, couldn't do anything, couldn't read my Bible and my prayers were all yell-y. (Serious, I wondered if God was going to smite me just to SHUT ME UP!) I needed help, and because of the circumstances, I had almost nowhere to turn. What I did have was a Comforter sent to me by my God, who promised never to leave me nor forsake me. That's no small thing.
I've always taught people that it's OK to be angry with God as long as you are moving toward Him. I yelled, screamed, blamed, cried, threw stuff and every tantrum an adult can throw, I threw it at God. I never for one minute doubted His love for me, but I didn't like Him at all. I felt like a runaway three year old. He has always been "home base" for me. I've never had to know how to get "home", He's always been there. So like that three year old, when I found myself "lost," I didn't know how to get home because I'd never left before. I'd never wrestled with the God who let bad things happen to those He loves passionately. Intellectually, I understood it. It's not all about me. I get my one piece of the puzzle, but I can't see the whole picture. Suddenly, I was wrestling with some big things. Here are just a few of the things I wrestled with: How can I love and serve a God who...
1) Lets Christians forget they are people and He is God
2) Lets children harm themselves
3) Let children be harmed
4) Lets heinous people into heaven if they repent ..and the big one
5)How can I love and serve a God who would die for murders and pedophiles and evil people and love them as He loves me??? I wasn't sure I cared to share Heaven with "those people."
One day, I looked over and saw "Old Faithful." (My main Bible.) It hadn't been cracked in months. So I opened it and set about reading the love letter written to me from my Father. I won't lie and tell you rainbows popped up over my head, birds sat on my shoulders to sing, small woodland creatures made me a new knock-off couture wardrobe and the world suddenly made sense... but after a lifetime of studying the Word, it was a healing balm. I was reminded that He will NEVER leave me nor forsake me, that if someone touches me they have touched the apple of His eye, that He knows His plans for me and they are for my good and not my harm. It reminded me that Paul had a thorn in his side that was never removed, that Jesus mourns when bad things happen to us and He is always near. I was reminded that the Book Of Job was there for a reason and even when it seemed he was deserted, he wasn't. Then I was reminded of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. Here's where it gets good!
They were tossed into a literal fire and didn't burn! Not only that, but SOMEONE was in that fire with them hanging out and walking around. They told Nebuchadnezzar before he tossed them in, "If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and He will rescue us from your hand, O King. BUT EVEN IF HE DOES NOT, we want you to know, O King, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." (Daniel 3:17-18) To his face! I determined that this was going to be me. I could fall down, crack and be broken by the gods of this world, or I could trust God to somehow deliver me. I decided to trust that my bonds would be burned, but only those things that were bondage and nothing else! He would be there hanging out with me too. I decided to trust Him to deliver me. He loves me as much as he loved them. How fab is that?
Here's how Beth describes the situation. We're all going to the furnace at some point in our lives, be it tragedy, trials or illness, and as Christians, we will be delivered. There are 3 possible ways we can be delivered.
1) We can be delivered FROM the fire. Meaning God just drives our bus around the whole thing and we never have to be in it. This is often how I'm delivered, but not this time. That ship had sailed.
2) We can be delivered BY the fire. Meaning it may literally take our earthly life and put us face to face with the Father. There were days I thought this might be the one, but it was not to be.
3) We can be delivered THROUGH the fire. Meaning, we will go into the fire, but we will come out the other side. HE will be there with us. This is where I am. Praise Jesus.
Here's my favorite part of the Shadrach & friends story. Neb sees them walking around in there and yells at them to come out. Their restraints had been burned off, but their clothes were not burned, nor a single hair on either of their heads singed. And here's the good part..."There was no smell of fire on them!!!" (Daniel 3:26-27.)
Praise Jesus for the fire. Fire refines. It purifies and allows things to be shaped. It is my sincere prayer that from now on, I don't even smell a teeny bit like smoke. I hope I smell like the refreshing fragrance of Jesus...with a little Oscar De La Renta tossed on top.
After everything, I can say that "I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I've committed unto Him against that day." I leave you with these verses from 2 Timothy. I almost made them a whole separate post, but it all goes together. Old Testament and New...Old Donna and new, refined Donna. These verses are my living testimony right now. Today.
Maybe you should consider making them yours.
"So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or about me His prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God who has saved us and called us to a holy life-not because of anything we have done but because of His own purpose and grace. This grace was given us before the beginning of time, but has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Jesus Christ, who has destroyed death and brought life and immortality to life through the gospel. And of this gospel, I was appointed a herald, an apostle and a teacher. That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed and am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him for that day. 2 Timothy 8-12
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