Scripture Shaming Nonsense

Christians. we've all been there. We've somehow found ourselves on the wrong side of Sister Bertha Better Than You or Brother Buster Better Sinner. Sometimes it's because you have offended one of them and sometimes because they don't like you. But rest assured, if you have not yet been a victim of this phenomenon, it's coming. "What is it," you ask?

SCRIPTURE SHAMING!!

This is the act of tossing out a scripture as though it were a grenade and hoping for some damage, or aiming it at the heart of one shameful sinner as though you were a sharp shooter. This newly connected world we live in makes it so much easier. In ye olden days, the shamer would have to come to you house and yell it at your door from the yard or go to the trouble to write it down and waste a stamp.

The best scripture shamers I've encountered are preachers. They can be the best and most skilled but certainly they are not the only scripture shamers. I had one whose sermon every week was personalized to some shameful sinner in the congregation. I had to march out in anger more times than I can count. I was always tempted to grab my Moses robe and beard and march down the aisle singing "let my people go..." But it's HARD to come back from a Masterful Moses Shaming, so I have not yet done it. Plus, I'm pretty sure that sort of behavior makes Jesus cry. Or at least consider it. Because Scripture doesn't say don't be angry. It says "in your anger, do not sin." (Ephesians 4:26) Pretty sure that would be sin. Almost positive.

So that leads me to social media. When you toss a scripture out generally, that YOU KNOW that SOMEONE ELSE WILL KNOW is aimed at their specific thing that is going on in their life, it is wrong. It's wrong enough when you do it face to face. But these days we like to go on our social media sites and throw them there. All of our friends will know we are very holy and love the Word, but the three or four we just hit with a grenade will be hurt. God doesn't want us to use His word to purposefully hurt one another. To convict, yes. But if you want to convict someone, that's not your job. It is the job of the Holy Spirit to convict. (John 16:8.) 

Rightfully used, the Word of God is a weapon all right, and many times (if not most) the Holy Spirit will use it to convict us of our sin. But it's not a grenade to be carelessly tossed to leave shrapnel and destruction everywhere. "For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." Hebrews 4:12. It is all you need and a sword is not a weapon of mass destruction  it is a weapon for close up work. 

I am a believer. If you are my brother or sister and you see me in sin, it is your job to help me see my error. "Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted." Galatians 6:1. Just remember, I am much less likely to listen to you if you shoot me in a drive-by or blow me up.

For the record, this post is not written to shame any scripture shamer, thereby making for a double shaming. That would be shameful. It's just a thing I've noticed on Twitter, Facebook and the like and today, I just had a chance to sit down and address it. To shame a shamer by shaming would be utter nonsense and I don't participate. I'm the Queen after all. I know better. If you feel led to post scripture on your personal page because it spoke to you and you think it would do so to others, please post it! Every time. But be sure your intentions are right.

LOVEY'ALLMEANIT! 

Avoiding Social Media Nonsense

Ten year old Donna could never have even imagined the world we live in today. Such innocent times I grew up in. I grew up with no car seat, often nekkid in a creek, running a Girl Scout Cookie Mafia, going to church, visiting family and their churches, swimming, catching my own bait and fishing, living on a dirt road "exploring," talking, riding bikes, being tortured by my little sister, conspiring against her with my cousin, talking, singing, singing in any church I could, digging holes and getting in trouble for it. (Turns out, adults don't appreciate a proper hole in their roads...something about shocks and u-joints or something.)We spent our weekends at the deer camp (usually with family) where the children had to be "outside" regardless of the temperature or weather patterns, on a deer stand or at the rifle range. It was a time before many of the conveniences and technologies of today. I was just myself because I didn't know I could be anyone else, nor could I have even begun to imagine how one would do that or why? What you saw was what you got. Not a single person on this planet (except for my Grannies and my Pawpaw) hung on my every word and no one asked to see a picture of what my Mama cooked up for supper. (At our house we had supper, not dinner. That was for high fa-looting city people.) People in my very small world knew the real me. My likes, my dislikes, my faith and how I wore my hair every day. They knew that I was never still and that I was a talker. When I got a new toy, I told everyone I knew and they knew what it looked like because they had one too. If I was excited, I was excited!!! Everywhere!

 I grew up in a time where my Daddy's policy was "What everyone else thinks about me is none of my business." He was always himself. Always. Everywhere. All day. Every day. While I didn't go to work with him, I was often surrounded and loved by those he worked with. I heard their stories. Don't like him? He didn't care. He was a hard working, well respected and honorable man. His word was good and his handshake was as good as his word. For reals. He was always the same person. The light he shined was "man's man." No shadows.

Fast forward a few...lot...of years. We now live in a world where you can be anything you want to be. Maybe not in real life, but in the online world you can create an image that may or may not be the real you. There are entire virtual worlds dedicated to allowing people to be someone else. Not satisfied with who you really are? No problem. You are not bound by your looks, your weight, your job or economic status. You can role play online and make a virtual "who you wish you were" and get a second life or whatever is popular now.

We also have bunches of social media sites where we have "friends" or "followers" or what have you.. Many of them are very popular, there are new ones every day. and much like being seen on the the nerd side of Sonic, heaven forbid you get caught logging into one who's "out." I have an account on most of them and check in every now and then. As a parent, it's my responsibility to stalk my children and to know where they hang out, even online. Also, I'm a people-ish person. I like to keep up.

Lately, I've become convicted about something and I thought I'd share it with you. Here's my first huge realization: I choose the light I shine before this world. My real world AND also my online world.

As a child, my life was one big open life. As modern adults, we compartmentalize our worlds (home, neighborhood, work, church, weekends, hobbies, spare time, etc.)We really don't mix it up much anymore, at least not in my 'burb. We have different people who see and participate in different areas of life. So very few people really, really know me these days and that is hard. Especially when your opinion of me is not the same as my opinion of me.  I believe that I choose who you think I am, what you think I do, where you think I go, what I want you to think my passions and hobbies are and how much about my life you get to know. I can choose to weight it any way I choose.

There's another thing I noticed the other day while perusing Facebook, I noticed that what I think of many people is largely determined by what they post and the frequency and weight they give their "stuff." For example, there are people I truly assume just sit in their house watching "Duck Dynasty" all day. Do they sleep? I don't know. There are people I mistakenly believe live and die for the product they are selling. There are some who I believe live in utter despair because that's what they share with me. There are people who are grandparents and that is all they are anymore. There are runners, gossips, drinkers, crafters, knitters, potty-mouths, brainiacs, funny people, people of faith, people of no faith, pet people, dieters, complainers, scripture quoters, sad people, perpetually happy people, parents, artists, preachers, students...you get the gist. But in my mind, they are very one dimensional. I only know of them what they choose for me to know.

Which led to my second revelation: I only control what they see, I don't control their opinion of me. I control the flashlight but I can't control the shadows that are cast. I can minimize the negative that is out there by being very careful what I share publicly.

To most of my "friends," I am one dimensional. If you only know me online, you know I have a twisted sense of humor, have puppies and have no problem being a ridiculous person on this planet. You know that I'm a Longhorn fan. You know I say I love Jesus, but you can't know if I walk the walk. You know I love people, and their kids and grandkids. I love their pictures. You also know I'm married to Mr. Perfect. I'm almost never publicly down, a few organizations that I'm passionate about and some authors I follow. You know I'm sassy and I don't generally use foul language. You will know that I have kids. You might know their ages or have see their pictures.  But that's about it.

If we attend church together, and we "chat" for 3 minutes every couple of weeks, if we run into each other on occasion or sometimes end up out with a group together, you will know a bit more. You will know I have a weight problem and that I don't always act like is a problem (trust me, it is) that I used to run a Women's Ministry and you might have noticed I don't drink coffee and have a big Dr. Pepper problem.You might even know the names of my children and that I'm proud of them. You may think that I'm an emotional robot with no feelings. You might assume, based on other people you've known, that I'm judgmental and have never sinned.

 Come a little closer, say if you're someone who is in Bible Study or in a volunteer organization with me. You will know I'm opinionated. Strong willed. Tenacious. That I really work hard to practice what I preach and that I am always at war with my hair. You know that I'm so proud of my babies that I could bust. You know I'm not only a Longhorn fan, but I hate sports on TV. You know I'm endlessly fascinated with what most people consider minutiae. And that I'm still a talker. You will assume that I don't wear my hear on my sleeve, but you'll know that I care about "people."I begin to take on a second dimension and I'm not what you expected.

But if you are one of the few who KNOW me, really know me, you will know so much more. I then become a real girl. You will know that my heart only truly breaks when I think that the heart of God is breaking. You will know that I'm aware that the person guilty of it is often me. You will know my children. You will know that when their hearts break, I've got the car gassed and ready to roll to "handle it" Mama style and I only don't do that because I've been forbidden. You'd know why I'm proud of them. You would know that one of them rarely allows me to speak of him on Facebook because he doesn't think I'm as funny as I think I am. You will know that I am a Longhorn fan because I'm a Longhorn married to a Longhorn and I'm terrified of stadiums because of that one time. You will know that I'm self-conscious. You'll know that I'm not good at showing emotions and I will almost never (only once) lose control of my emotions but they are there and they are strong.You will know that that sassy is sometimes covering up insecurity and that I am often almost eaten alive by those insecurities. You will learn to recognize when I'm NOT saying what I wish I was saying because I am very opinionated and outspoken and sometimes it physically hurts to shut up. You will know I'm learning to keep my mouth shut. Learning. You'll know I rarely suffer fools and generally know how to handle my business because my Daddy raised me not to need anyone. You'll also know that Perfect is my rock and I desperately need him and love him second only to God. You will know that I will walk through hell barefoot to try to drag out one methhead or alcoholic or depressed person or abused child (or almost anyone who need it) with me. You will know that to me they are simply people, just like me. You will know that I'm unshockable. You will feel the mercy. You will know I can't judge. You will know I struggle and come from a family that is no stranger to addiction. You will know my past. You will know that I have a will of iron and a backbone of steel and that if I am crashing, it's a BIG deal. You will know my Mama and my sister. You will also know that I stink at small talk and am almost incapable of it.  Awkwardness and social anxiety runs high in this one. You probably don't understand my fascination with politics and the law but you know I sometimes like to sit in court hearings and trials for no reason. You'll know that the things that terrify me are small to most people and the things that terrify most people usually don't bother me at all. You will know that I'm a loyal friend forever and I've never lost a real friend. You will know that I'm fanatical about knowing and understanding God's Word. I love theology. I love to hang out in the Christian Book Store in the Pastor section. I love Jesus with everything I have every day. You will also know there are dark days where I wish I could stay in bed and there are days filled with pain. You will know that I am actually funny. That I can sing and am a compulsive harmonizer. That I am a frustrating, complicated, beautiful bundle of me. I sin. You will know that I'm a real girl. You will also know that I'm not just a woman AND a broad, I'm also a lady. These are people who don't just "see" my posts. They "see" me and I "see" them. They are relationships sown and watered and cultivated in real live life and over time.

 The point of all of that is this: Don't assume you know people you don't know. Try not to judge them by the small slice of their life you are privy to. They, like you, like me, are so much more. Good and not so good.

Lastly: When you make posts on social media, blogs or whatever, remember that you are heavily influencing what people think of you and for those who aren't in your inner circle, that is the light that will shine brightest. If you are a child of God, please shine your faith the brightest. And if you ever get the feeling that I'm shining anything else brighter than my Savior, call me on it. Because I need you to know that He loves you. That He died for you to save you from a real and actual hell and that I really do, after all these years, believe it with all of my heart. And after that, I really don't care too much what you think of me, It's none of my business.

You Say Goodbye and I Say Hello. (How Donna Got Her Groove Back)

The summer of 2009 was the worst ever in the life of our family. My oldest, firstborn treasure had graduated from high school and an emptier nest was looming when all of a sudden the bottom fell out of life. (I've written about it here and that's all I have to say about it for now.) I had made my entire life parenting these kids and serving in my church and trying to be a good wife. I had loved and parented my children with all of my heart and now one was preparing to go and do the exact thing I had raised her to do...leave us. If you parent well, you parent yourself out of a job. What was I thinking!?! She was ready but none of us was sure if, when it came time to let her go whether I would really be able to do it or not. I had been involved in every area of both of their lives. We had raised them to be godly warrior attack sheep. We had passed to them our faith and they had made it their own. I taught them to do laundry and have kind hearts. But every mother has a fear section of her heart that we don't really talk about. What if these great kids were really just little con artists and would run wild like banshees the first opportunity they got? What if  my babies harmed themselves or made poor decisions? Having children is a risk and hard on your heart. It's not for sissies or the faint of heart.

God and I had a lot of time to communicate that summer and so when it was time to take her off to college, I was able to get in the car, drive down and help move her into her dorm. We were so proud that neither of had a complete nervous breakdown. No tears (that anyone saw.) She was ready to fly! She jumped into college life like she was born to it. A few months in we had out first difficulty. We lost a family member that she loved so very much. I had to break the news to her and she was there and I was here. I had to do it over the phone. I couldn't hold her and cry with her and dry her tears. This is not how parenting is supposed to go. While that loss continues to be an only partially healed wound, I was reminded that God loves my child and has her wrapped up in His wings. He had surrounded her with a new godly family of kids there who helped her get through it when I could not. I grew stronger.

So what's a mom to do when she suddenly has time on her hands. My boy child was still in high school, but let's be honest y'all, girls take up wayyyyy more time and energy than boys. I have always served in Ministry to Women and God opened a door for me to step into the ministry He had been preparing me to do. I always felt I should wait until my babies were grown, and one was there and one was close. So I jumped in. Suddenly life became about everyone else. My time was filled up much more than before. My mind was engaged. I was spending a bit less time on the couch and doing the thing I love. Ministering to my sisters in Christ and leading or participating in Bible Study. Ashley was always surprised when she would call me and I had to return her call because I was busy. She had always come first and I was never too busy for her before! My baby girl would come home on occasion and my heart would soar! For that first semester her leaving to go back to college was bittersweet. I loved hearing about the goodly friends she made and the fun she was having. I thought it was so fun that she was the sweetheart for the music fraternity. I loved that she caught it when a local church did something crazy and she recognized the stink of it and called to ask me about it. I missed her so much and the silence here was deafening! I was used to a loud girl and chaos. My boy, who was a sophomore, is a musician but still manages to be very quiet. (Solution: Drums for Christmas for Tyler. For reals.)

But here's the good news. After a month home for Christmas, I was ready for her to go back and so was she. I loved having her home but letting her go was pretty easy. God had been slowly filling me up and holding me just like he promised and she had become a beautiful butterfly who didn't need us much. She had grown up into the beautiful woman of God we knew she would be. She was not just OK, she was thriving and I was serving and learning.

Then the summer of 2012 rolled around. NOT MY BABY BOY! He's all I've got left. I still haven't figured him all the way out so I can't be finished parenting him. I just don't think I will allow this to happen. I had seen so many signs that he was ready to go. He had participated in a mission trip with our church and his father and we had all gotten a glimpse of the mighty mountain of God he was becoming. He is quiet but mature and wise beyond his years. He was born a 40 year old man so he was ready. Responsible is this child's middle name. He had decided where he was going to college and done what he needed to do to have easy admission and so I had no choice but to let him go. He was ready to fly. It was hard. He had chosen to go to our alma mater, the University of Texas in Austin. It's a hard place to be a person of faith. But God has been working there and preparing for him. (That's right...I believe that all of the godly ground made in Austin has been laid just in preparation for my baby boy...and others of course. That's what I'm telling myself. In the last twenty something years, He has MOVED INTO Austin and claimed some serious ground. That was not true when we were there.) He found a great church with a great college ministry. He met with a man who mentored freshman boys. He had the opportunity to serve in leadership at the BSM and he got to go on a mission trip to Costa Rica. This boy walked into the ungodliest place in Texas and started ministry. Those of us here who poured into him are so proud. I was terrified that Austin would chew him up and spit him out. Nope. Not happening to God's quietest and gentlest warrior.

The second child leaving is a teeny bit easier than the first, but the fact that he's the last sort of evens the pain of loss. I bounced back a little faster. I now had both children out of the house and I was still serving in a ministry that I loved. I won't lie though, if you enter ministry, you better buckle up. It won't always be pretty. But it WILL always be blessed, no matter how it feels. For the first time in my adult life, I had no babies in the house. No one here but my husband, Mr. Perfect, me and our ill and aging dogs. To be fair, they were the children's dogs and it seemed they decided to expire when their babies were grown. I clung to those dogs like a life raft. They represented so much to me. The childhood of my children and 11 years of great memories. I literally felt that I was breathing for them. A part time volunteer ministry takes time but not really all that much and I had a lot of free time to love on them. And as they faded, I found I missed my babies less and less. The babies, on the other hand were having a ball! They were thriving. They were happy. The world had not corrupted them. I was able to serve in the ministry I had been in many ways training for all my life. Life was going to be OK. But I was still spending most of my time on the couch...and it showed. (Still does. Working on that.)

In December, I got an "opportunity" to serve my community for the next 6 months. I couldn't turn it down. I was so excited I could barely contain myself until it began in January. I have spent so much time in the towns around where I live, I didn't know many people in my own town. Nor did I have any idea what we had going on. I spent the next 6 months serving with people who treated me with respect and dignity. I discovered that I still had a brain and it still functioned. If you've ever been a stay at home mom, you know it atrophies the brain. I began to learn of fun and sometimes educational events and opportunities in my own town. I also found that once again God had been looking out and preparing me. You see, a long time ago (1996) I learned about guardian-ad-litems from watching a TV show. I promised myself I would look into that when my babies were grown and I had the time. I felt it would be in the best interest of us all not to have my time split. But I am not really a kid person. I don't feel the need to hug and squeeze babies. I will walk into battle with the meanest adult, stand on stage and sing in front of anyone but 2 and 3 year olds terrify me! I wasn't sure it was going to be a fit. However, about 2003 I met a new friend that I loved instantly. She is an attorney-ad-litem and she is a WARRIOR for her clients but she doesn't feel the need to pinch cheeks either. Without words, she encouraged me gave me hope that maybe someone with my personality could still be useful there. In November of 2012, shortly after my son left for college, I told my husband it was time to look into it. Shortly after that I sent an email requesting information. I received no reply. OK Lord, we will wait. On my 6 month team, I discovered two wonderful ladies who were volunteers with CASA. CASA stands for Court Appointed Special Advocates. They are guardian ad litems. God had placed these two in a room with me once a week for six months and had given me the opportunity to ask all my questions to several of their best and brightest. But please catch this, it was MONTHS AFTER I had decided to jump in. He knew they were coming for me. Months after my original inquiry I received an apology from their headquarters stating they had had email issues. SO I rolled the ball. I went through the training and I received my first case and my second one. I absolutely love this organization and I believe in it. I believe it is the literal meaning of "true religion." 

James 1:27 says "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world."

The children represented by CASA are not all orphans but they were all living in terrible conditions. I can stand up for them and look out for their best interests. I also get to help their parents on the pathway to being better parents so maybe, just maybe their children can be best served in their own family. And I can minister in different way than I do in the church. It is stretching me. 

About this same time I discovered Dr. Oz's Arthritis Cure. While it isn't a cure, it has given me a new lease on life. I have mostly pain free days most of the time. 

With no children at home, vastly improved pain issues and a life full of service, I discovered the beauty of a life after babies. I no longer miss them terribly. Letting them go allowed me to step into the ministry God had waiting for me and allowed them to grow to maturity in His way. I've dedicated my life to serving in God's Church. I know He's called me to the Church. I have loved it and have been privileged to serve Him in Ministry to Women. I will always serve in that capacity in one way or another, I always have. My time in that particular church ministry has ended for now. I am grateful for lessons learned, some the easy way and some the hard way. (There are a few lessons I'm still working on being grateful for, but I'll get there.)  I believe that God used that ministry to make huge differences in our church. I believed He used it as one mighty form of discipleship and I've been privileged to watch many women blossom with new understanding of His Word. I've cried with many of them during times of terrible pain and sadness and also times of great joy! I've watched Him step in when words failed me. I've watched the worst thing I could imagine happen to people. I've seen some fly and some fail in those difficulties. What a privilege to get to serve others in this way. For sure, its not for everyone. That's why they call it a "calling." There's an old seminary saying that applies here: "If you can do anything at all but preach  boy, do that!" I really can't do anything other than minister to the wounded and hurting and make disciples. No matter what I intend to do, that's where I find myself.

So I once again have time on my hands. I'm excited to find ways to fill it. I'm excited to figure out where God is leading. I'm serving Him outside of the church and I will follow Him to the new ways to serve Him inside the Church too, if that's where He leads. I believe it will. It always has. But please know, there is life after children. I couldn't have imagined it 5 years ago. Now we can do anything we want. We can go to the movies on Tuesday evening...and sometimes do. Every Saturday night is date night no matter what the children are doing because they aren't here. That man I married still has it going on! We can get in the car and go should we desire. We can eat out a lot and still spend less money than home cooking for four. We can spoil our new puppies like crazy people. Who's here to tell on us? Our time is our own for the first time in 23 years.  I had figured I would sit around and cry until the grand babies came but let's be honest, that's not my style. Ashley has graduated with honors and is beginning graduate school in a few days. My baby boy was home for the summer and just left to start his second (but technically junior) year. I couldn't be prouder but no longer is their life, my life. As it should be. 

Still Putting Up With Nonsense

Wisdom from this old woman: Sometimes we are fickle, fickle people. Sometimes people won't like you. Sometimes you will spend years giving to people content to take. Sometimes you will listen to the troubles of people who are at the bottom of life till your ears bleed and when you try to give them words of life, they will slap you in the face. There will be times when you try to help and they will want not only what you gave but what you kept. There will be people who say things about you that aren't true. There will be times some of these people will try to destroy your character. But here's the deal. SO WHAT? You live your life for Christ. You comport yourself in such a manner that anyone who's paying attention will know that lies aren't the truth. You don't exist to please man. You will go crazy trying. You minister to "the least of these" because your Savior told you to do so, not for accolades here on Earth. When those who hurt you come running back for help that you are able to give, what should you do if you are hurt or tired or DONE? Help them anyway. Don't hold grudges. Let it go. Be generous and kind anyway. You will be taken advantage of again. So what. The blessing will still be the same. Jesus reminds me daily that it doesn't matter what I think of people. They are His and He loves them and so should I. Period

There does come a time when, the words of Matthew 10:14 come into play. Just be sure that the conviction comes from the right place. "And if anyone will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet when you leave that house or town. " I can only do that when I have peace. Until I have peace, I'm still there. Even if it hurts.

Fed up on Facebook? My manifesto...so to speak.

I shared this on my Facebook page this summer and I decided to share it here too. It's just all about me. Wanna know me? This is me. I won't edit it for now, I'll post it as is. Enjoy. Comment. I'd love to hear from you.

OK, don't say I didn't warn you. This is Facebook, not FaithFreeBook. This odd little place where you and I meet is an interesting experiment. It's a place where some people share every thought that passes through their mind, and some people just watch. Some people share their faith and politics. Some people complain about people sharing their faith and politics. I love all of it. If I either sent

 you a friend request or accepted yours it's because you are someone I care about and I care to know you better. These things help me know you. However, if you will give me your ear for a few minutes, I'd like to share a few thoughts with you. Then you can do with me as you wish. I assure you this is in no way personal nor aimed at any one person.

I love Jesus. I believe He is the Son of God. I believe he died on the cross for my sin. I believe in eternal life. I am a passionate, sold out, freak for Jesus. I gave my life to Him when I was young and that has never changed. My life is dedicated to His service. I had the privilege to grow up in a church and have a family that taught me to think for myself and to search things out for myself. "Test all things," if you will. I have done that. I am not a sheep. I do not blindly follow any man. If you know me at all, you know my stubborn nature would simply not allow me to blindly follow any man. I care for you. I believe in heaven and I want you there. YOU SHOULD BE OFFENDED IF I AM NOT SHARING MY FAITH WITH YOU, NOT THAT I AM. My decisions and passions are informed by my understanding of Scripture. I wake up and attempt every day to put on the full armor of God and to grow in the grace and the knowledge of God's Word. That said, I love you. I do not hate you. I don't hate anyone. Not even those who hate me. My Jesus tells me to love them too, so I do and I promise you it's brought more rewards than punishment. It isn't easy though. However, I assure you I can also flip over the tables if need be. If you only think Jesus exists only to love and tolerate all things, we don't know the same Jesus. However, I'd love to converse about it with you.

That said, there are THINGS I can not approve of. But make no mistake, while I may not approve of people's actions or the actions of a business or institution, I love you. Period. My heart is hurt however by all of the divisiveness I see. Politics and religion divide. I understand it, I just wish it weren't so. If you've known me 10 minutes in real life, you know I am passionate about both. Many of you are on the other side of the spectrum from me. I appreciate that most of you are very respectful and we have great conversations. Knowing we differ doesn't offend me, it may make me sad, but it doesn't offend me. If you accuse me of being hateful, THAT offends me. I hate things (not people) I believe to be sinful. That starts with my own, though I promise you I'm working on it. You can love me and hate my sin. My Mama has managed to do it for years, as have many of you. I feel the same way about "you."

If you differ politically, I don't hate you simply because I disagree. I am passionate about what I do believe, and you are free to do the same. It helps me know you. Our founding Fathers gave us the right to speak freely and that includes ALL of us, not just people who share your opinions.

So please stop yelling at me (or on your feed) when you disagree. Please stop thinking Christians are hateful because we are not approving of things we can not believe are OK- you'd think us hypocrites if we didn't stand for our beliefs, and rightfully so. Also, please know that some things are not both faith and politics. (I'm a HUGE 2nd amendment proponent and it does not negate my faith one bit.) If you think something is not OK, feel free to exercise your first amendment rights. I will read it and give it thought. I won't hate you. Please know however, that if you are mean I will hide you, if you slander my Jesus, I will hide you. I still won't hate you. Feel free to respectfully disagree with me, but don't expect to change my mind. I'm too old and (honestly) too well read and educated in my faith to be argued into a different life, but I really do respect that you care enough about me to try. If you are of a different faith, I expect you to talk about it too. It doesn't offend me. You go ahead. You comment on my Jesus posts about your beliefs and we'll have a great respectful conversation. I'm going to keep on being my sassy self (and YES!!I"m going to keep on preaching about Christians and lady porn and anything else I feel necessary.)

OK, now feel free to either hide me, or if you must, unfriend me. But before you do, copy down my phone number and email address (I've changed it from my Facebook one to my real one just for you.) We don't have to meet here. You may free yourself from knowing one more thing about me, my family, my dogs, my politics or my religion. But if you ever miss me, even just a little...pick up the phone and call. I will probably want to talk to you about my Jesus, but I will try to let you get a word in edgewise.

"Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6 This is why I care.

Dear Former English Teachers, please excuse my stream-of-consciousness writing, bad grammar and anything else that needs excusing. You did teach me better, I just got in a hurry...as usual. :-)

19 Shades of Not So Magic Men... Part I

Well hello! It's been a while. This is a topic I've wanted to personally address for a while, but quite frankly, I had to calm down first. You see there is a phenomenon that has overtaken women this summer so I've dubbed this summer "The Summer of Lady Porn." "50 Shades of Grey" and "Magic Mike" have women shamelessly all atwitter. "Not Christian women," you say. YES, CHRISTIAN WOMEN! I just don't understand it at all. In the words of a dear pastor friend of mine, "This is the summer women lost the moral high ground." If men were flocking to these things you would see us women having Texas sized hissy fits all over the news because, we would not be having it. Husbands would be burned in effigy and any woman prettier than us would be the subject of creative vandalism. We are fully aware that what goes into your brain through your eyes can be just as sinful and as damaging as what your body does. I don't know any woman, Christian or not who is OK with her man perusing, reading, watching or making pornography of any kind. No matter our faith, we know we can't measure up to a fake perfect image.
I don't know any "Magic Men" but I know a lot of good and godly men who are not magic at all and I think that's much better. So I thought maybe a good way to address this is to tell you that there are still good men out there. They exist. You don't have to imagine them. I know so many of them I can't count them. So I'm going to introduce you to just a few. They are all godly men. Everyone. These are men who understand God's call to be men of honor. Good faithful men. They walk in integrity, they honor their marriage vows and love their wives like Christ loves the Church. They stand firm in the faith. They are strong. Some are young men keeping their way pure by guarding their hearts and storing up God's Word in it so they won't sin against Him. I'll tell you a small bit about what makes each one a "good man" other than his godliness, which they all share. These men are not to be the objects of lust. These are real men. Doing what real men do. Not fake, impossibly perfect men. Those would get boring in a hurry. I'll take real any day. (Some are not still living here among us, but helped shape me and were good men whose name is still good today.) Here is "19 Shades Of Not So Magic Men."

This is John. He's married to my girlfriend Pam. I've known him most of my life. John works in a high pressure big important job but his heart is in the country with his family. Every day he makes a nasty commute to provide for his family so they can live their simple life of tractors, sweet tea, front porches and fresh-from-the-garden vegetables. A simple life loving man who will still race with the rats is a good man.

This is Greg. He's married to my girlfriend Lisa. He and John have a lot in common. Greg is also a country boy who loves a simple life. Greg loves his wife so much that when he speaks of her there is an unmistakable giddiness in his voice and his smile is bigger than his face. He also has two adopted boys that he is raising to be godly men and a daughter he's raising much like my daddy raised me...in the woods with a gun in one hand and a Bible in the other. A man who can't stop grinning about his wife, dotes on his little girl and will take in someone else's children and make them family (like our Heavenly Father has done for us) is a good man.

This is Frank. Frank is a devoted family man. This man was so excited when he first heard there was going to be a baby girl in the family that his heart was wrecked before he ever met her. God loves his attitude so much that he blessed him with a girl twice! Frank gets to be married to my girlfriend Kristin. I think that's how he would say it. He is proud of his woman! When she is the subject of conversation, you can tell that he is just gobsmacked that he gets to be married to her. I think he feels like he won some sort of wife lottery. A man who is wrecked over a baby that isn't even born yet and is gobsmacked over his wife is a good man.

This is Alex. Alex is married to my precious and unforgettable girlfriend Laura. Alex serves as a missionary with the Miskito Indians in Honduras. He is a man to whom God said "take your family and go" and he said "will do." He loves his family and has a special heart for orphans and the fatherless. He puts his shoes to the road and lives out that calling every day. He has 4 children, a mixture of natural and adopted. Doesn't matter which is which because he's Daddy to them all and NOW there is a new precious baby girl to love too. A man who will devote his life to His call and still keep a tender heart for "the least of these" is a good man.

This is Jimmy, or Jim to his friends. He's a cousin and is married to Karen. They call each other "Pal" and have two boys they call "The Wonder Boys." Jim is a successful composer who lives in Hollywood yet still manages to live out his faith every day. Not only does he stand for Christ in Hollywood, he teaches classes and has written a book to help others share their faith. A man who is a "pal" to his wife, recognized the "wonder" in his boys and gets that making disciples is the Great Commission is a good man....who makes great music.

This is my Uncle Don. He's just a straight out good old God loving country boy. Need a hand, he'll lend you both of his. He is a craftsman and a loving husband, father and grandfather, and he's one of the men I love to call family. He is my Daddy's brother and he is super funny. I bet we got our sense of humor from the same place. His grand kids call him "Dino." Who doesn't love that? He's married to my Aunt Mary who is, as far as I know, the perfect woman and a super great aunt!

This is Clay. He's married to my girlfriend Collette. Clay has 4 children and several beagles. He says he's not a "kid person," but you just hurt one of his and you'll see that he loves his kids ferociously. Clay loves Disney only slightly less than he loves Collette. He knows that he hit the jackpot when he landed his woman. This man is always ready to lend a hand, to pitch in or lend an ear. He's a good friend, husband and father. He is always pursuing knowledge in an attempt to understand God's Word as well as he possibly can. A Disney, beagle and family loving man who is a good friend as well as all those other things is a good man.

This is Usarian. He's married to my girlfriend Kristine. They have five boys. This man recently spent six or seven days with all of his boys by himself so his wife could go "home" to a wedding. Then just yesterday he searched high and low to find a restaurant that served his wife's favorite soup so he could bring some home to her. He has several reasons to complain, yet I never hear him do so. A man who will take his vacation and spend uninterrupted time with his own FIVE BOYS and then search out secret soup just for his wife is a good man.

This is Chip. Do you see that smile on his face? It's because he gets to be married to my best friend Laura. They have four children (mostly now adults,) who are all dedicated to serving others. He works harder and longer than your average bear. He has always been on Laura's side, no matter what the other side was. I have seen this man get his own behind up off of the comfortable couch just to get her a drink or warm up her coffee. This man is completely unaware that there are other women on this planet because he simply can't see them. A man who only has eyes for you, is on your side, helps you raise servant hearted adults AND will fetch a drink for you because you're thirsty is a good man.

This is Marcus. This man is married to my girlfriend Tricia and he is near and dear to my own heart. This man saw potential in my child when he was just a quiet and painfully shy 7th grader. He mentored him and taught him guitar, which changed his life. He gave my boy an outlet for his godly passion and a way to serve Jesus. As you can tell he's an amazing youth minister but he is also a devoted father to a precious boy that I love almost as much as my own. He works harder than any man I know and I'm not sure he sits down. He is super busy yet is never to busy to be a good friend to me. He has spent his summer hauling kids all over several states for camp at the expense of his family time. A man who will invest in your children and haul them all over the world for you and still be a great husband and father is a good man. That's only the first half. Stick around for the second half. Some of my favorites will be there. Please leave me a comment telling me about a "not so magic man" that you know and what makes him a good man.

19 Shades of Not So Magic Men, Part II

This is Buddy. He's a cousin married to Teri. He's Dad to three beautiful, smart and charming girls. He spent years in law enforcement keeping us all safe, though I did hear that back in the day (before Teri) he would pull over pretty girls because they were pretty. This man has also walked through his own personal hell and while it was touch and go for a while, has come out on the other side with his sense of humor intact. He's a great coach and someone I really like a lot. He picks on me so I know he likes me. A man who will serve and protect, deal with great pain and emerge on top is a good man.

This is Zachery. He's one of those godly, servant hearted kids raised by Chip. Right now, he's serving in the Marines. We sleep safe at night because of good "men" like Zachery. This is how we know that the next generation is not hopeless. I've watched this boy grow up and he's always been an amazing kid. He is now an amazing man and a husband to the beautiful Estephany, who is also a Marine. They are deployed overseas. A man who loves his country, his wife and his Jesus and who manages to serve all three is a good man.

This is Joel. I dare you to find a picture of him without a guitar in his hand. He is married to my friend Becky. Joel was my first Youth Minister growing up. He encouraged me in my music and also taught me Bible. When my girlfriend Pam (married to John) and I decided several times to invite ourselves to visit him in Ft. Worth when we were in High School, he and Becky were gracious hosts, even though he was a poor seminary student at the time, and our visits probably put them out a lot. This was a fact we never stopped to consider. He always gave us his ear and always prayed with us. He never told us we weren't his problem anymore because he had moved on. He is a father to three godly kids who are grown. He is the best musician I know and that's saying a lot. I love this man more than words can say and he gets a lot of credit for lighting my passion for Christ. He's moved on from youth ministry and into music ministry but still goes touring with his youth choir. All these years later, he's still investing in the future generations. A man who encourages youngsters and still serves the Lord is a good man.

This is Dale, or at our house, Grandpa. He's married to Grandma, Jeanene. This is a very dignified man and the patriarch of our family. He's the tent pole that holds up the big old Lawson tent. He's been an engineer, deacon, Sunday School teacher and father too. But my favorite thing about this man is a memory I treasure. When Ashley was about 18 months old, I walked into her playroom to find her serving high tea in her finest dress up outfit and Easter gloves. Grandpa was seated on the floor at the table, wearing her Easter hat and participating in this very serious tea party. He just looked at me and smiled and asked me to please excuse myself. And they proceeded to have high tea. A very dignified man who has accomplished much in life yet will still come correct to a toddler's tea party is a good man.

This is Bro. Bill. He was my first Pastor and other Daddy. He was married to my other mother Becky and was Daddy to two girls, one of them is one of my oldest best friends Kathy. I spent a lot of time at his house. This is my favorite picture of him because it shows his personality. He had the biggest, most infectious laugh. But he also was a teaching pastor and was "no respecter of persons." He loved me and everyone else equally. I saw in this man what a follower of Christ should look like. He taught me scripture, but he also taught me to search things out for myself. He was often my personal counselor. He drove Kathy and I to the mall more times than I can count. When God called this man home, it left a hole that has never been filled. We are all blessed to know this man. A man whose good attributes cannot be contained in a mere blog is a good man.

This is Glenn, but to me he was Daddy. He is pictured here with my daughter Ashley who was the light of his life. My Daddy was a man's man. He was married to my Mom Glenda. I always thought of them as Fonzie and Sandra Dee. My Daddy was cool and handsome. In this picture he had just gotten off work. While it isn't his best he's breaking his rule and SMILING. He usually didn't smile in pictures, but when he was holding a grandbaby, that was different. He worked hard every day of his life. If someone needed a hand with just about anything, he was there. He was an avid outdoors-man and family man. He loved me enough to have a hard time letting me go. This man was invincible as far as I was concerned. However, when this tough hunter and fisherman found out that a grand child was coming, something took over his body. He started going in to work early on the day the "Good Housekeeping" magazine came into the work room so he could make a list of all the recalls. He would then make sure my mother told me all of the things I was not allowed to have for "our baby." He loved both of the kids so much that it physically hurt him to be apart from them, yet he understood our need to be independent because that's how he raised me. I get my personality and sense of humor from him. I miss him. A man that will love you and your mama and your babies and leave this Earth with a good reputation is a good man.

This is K.D., Kester to his friends and Papa to me. He loved me so much I was sure I was his favorite. Of course, we all were his favorite. He also was silly proud of my kids. This man always had ice cream when I came to visit as a child and that was a lot because we only lived twenty minutes away. He still had it years later when my kids would come visit. He spent a lot of time at the mall with my Granny and I because we were world class shoppers. He never complained. He was married to my Granny for well over 50 years and always had her back. When I was in college, he'd slip some money, ranging from a twenty to a hundred into my hand and tell me not to tell my Granny...then she would do the same. This man delighted in his family. It was not wise to speak against any one of us. A man who will hold the purse at the mall and spoil his grandchildren and then great-grand children rotten is a good man.

This is Terry. My husband and my heart. His nickname is "Mr.Perfect" and it fits. This man has put up with me for almost 25 years. We've been married just shy of 23. He would make a great stay at home dad but he goes to work, and is the best at what he does, so I could stay home and raise our kids. He married a thin woman and 3 months later, through some medical "incident" no one could ever diagnose was married to a not thin woman. He's loved me anyway. He has been the best daddy in the world to our two kiddos.He has never used the word "babysit" in relation to his own children. He has spent lots of time with them while I was out doing my thing. He never complained. He is patient and kind. He is wise and solid. He has a heart for people and is tormented that maybe he isn't changing the world. He's wrong, he's changing the world for the better ever day. He has showed up and been present every single day for almost 23 years. He's also super handsome. A man who will love you fat or thin, sick or well, smart or stupid is a good man.

Finally, this is Tyler. He isn't married to anyone because he's only 18. This is my boy. He will be off to college soon and he will do whatever he wants because he's got the "stuff." He's smart, but not obnoxious, handsome but oblivious, talented but humble. He treats everyone with respect. This first picture of him is just my favorite. He was in Honduras, visiting with Alex and his people. He is praying with a lady who is pregnant. She has lost two children to preventable diseases. My shy boy stepped out of his comfort zone to pray with her. He has spent his last summer before college serving others. Like Phil, with my children, my heart goes walking around outside my body. This young man, along with his sister and Daddy, holds my heart. He is another reason why I know that the world will go on. This young man loves Jesus. His faith is his own and not ours because we have taught him to "test all things" as we were taught. He knows why he believes what he believes. This young man is respectful to women. This young man is mostly responsible, unless he needs to clean his room. I'm not ready to let him go but he is ready to be let go. A young man whose mom can't think of a single negative thing to say is a good man.I know this was long. I'm going to break it into three. The last one will be extra pictures should you like to see them. I hope you see now that common everyday men trump "Magic Men" every time. Ladies, don't lower your expectations. Maybe you just need to change your opinion on what makes a good man. The best looking man may not be the one that will love you for life no matter what comes. Look for one that will love you for life. Here's a hint: if he loves Jesus more that you or himself, that's a great place to start. Also, I don't want to, but I'm putting all of the hot and bothered Christian women ON NOTICE!!! They know better!
Please leave me a comment telling me about a "not so magic man" that you know and what makes him a good man.

19 Shades of Not So Magic Men...the Pictures, Part III

John with his girls

Greg with his boys

Frank, daddying...yes, I made that word up. Isn't this picture too precious?

Alex, loving on a little one in Honduras.

Jim with his Pal Karen

Clay and his bride Collette. Believe it or not this is the day they met. I think they were married about 20 minutes later. He knows he's met the one!

Usarian, his wife Kristine and the WHOLE crew.

Chip and his oldest, Zachery, the Marine. Interestingly, Z grew up to look just like his Dad.

Marcus with his pride and joy Malaki.

Buddy and the beautiful Teri.

Joel, in the 70's. This man was trusted with children in that get up. All I can say about it is..."I SHO HATE IT!!"

"Grandpa" Dale. With the sweet Ashley

Glenn, my Daddy. With baby Tyler and baby me! He loved babies!

Kester, my Papa. He's holding me up.I was the oldest. He sure loved me! Can you tell?

Terry, Mr. Perfect with Tyler, Ashley and me (a long time ago.)

Tyler with a precious little girl in Honduras and now a couple of bonuses...

Those last two photos are from Creative Designs 14:7. Hit them up for all your graphics needs. (shameless plug.)http://www.creativedesigns147.com/
Please leave me a comment telling me about a "not so magic man" that you know and what makes him a good man.